The following article was written by Mr. Kim, who is from Pakistan. He is a student of neuro-psychology, and interested in topics related to self-improvement, social relationships, mind sciences and metaphysics.
 

The Attitude Problem

Attitude is a common term which simply means to show what you actually are in front of others. It’s one of the ways that we socialise with others and how we appear to them.

Many people in our world possess a false-attitude, or a fake-attitude mask, in order to look “cool” or impress others. This is one kind of multiple personality disorder (MPD) and may range from mild to severe.

The reasons for showing a fake-attitude varies from person to person, but some of the most common reasons could include the following;

1. To look cool
2. To impress
3. To make fun
4. To hurt
5. To play stupid

The psychological reason behind this fake-attitude scheme is actually the alarming rate of a very low self-esteem, or some complex such as a being poor, being less-privileged or feelings of unworthiness.

Whatever the type of complex, it is the base reason in most of the attitude cases. Now we will look at some of the ways how people show fake-attitude.

A Very Busy Person: Playing Stupid With Others

If you have seen a rabbit hopping around in your backyard, it looks as if it is too busy but we all know that rabbits hop for nothing. They look busy but actually do nothing.

Similarly these types of people mostly show up that they are very busy. They even look busy while walking down the street and having a conversation on their cell phone, or sending a text to someone while typing very quickly as if the message is worth millions of dollars.

On the street they mostly neglect their acquaintances and pretend as if they have never seen them because they were very busy. They like when others say hello to them rather than greeting others.

They seldom meet with anyone themselves and frequently say that they are busy in their routine, and too occupied that they can’t take the time out.

They mostly cause others to meet them, even on special festivals such as a New Years or Christmas, but seldom pay visit to anyone. While on the internet, they never greet anyone themselves and expect that others would message them.

However, in reality they are mostly not busy at all and have plenty of free time. They are actually busy watching T.V, roaming out with close friends, making long calls to their girlfriends, dating, reading magazines or action thriller series and all different sorts of entertainment activities.

The Reason & Consequences

Why they act like this is simply to have a feeling of importance that others are giving attention to them, while thinking they are self-sufficient. However they actually suffer from attention disorder.

In doing so they fail to notice how many people start neglecting them, and a time comes when they are completely isolated from society and people dislike inviting them in social gatherings because of their regular excuse of busyness.

They mostly listen to others saying to them “Oh Sorry, I could not invite you; I thought you would be busy in your routine”.

One should know that pretending to be busy while you are not brings nothing but a harmful effect of being isolated and neglected. In this way one actually earns very little attention and people are mostly unaware about their lives and talents.

It is important to note that sometimes we unconsciously do it. We think that we are really busy but in reality we are not that much that we could not take time out for other people, and often due to this we loose many golden opportunities provided by nature.

One should try to occasionally visit their friends themselves, attend parties and social gatherings and when in a party, should avoid using their cell phone or become busy in messaging which gives an impression of ignoring others.

Try to meet people in the party and even if you are an introvert, you should try to make the first move to contact others.

Rather then sitting idle and waiting for others to come to you, one should take the initiative and contact others themselves. This makes you a “people person” and in reality, a cool person to be with.  

How To Spot Such A Person

In order to identify if a person is showing “fake-busyness”, you should see into their career obligations, their family obligations and other liabilities. By this you can evaluate if a person is really busy or not.

One major sign of such people is their hasty way when they contact themselves to others. When such kind of busy-person would try to meet someone or would call / message someone, they would expect an immediate response and could not bear to be waiting.

However, when someone would message them or call them they would try to keep them waiting for sometime and would mostly avoid to reply early as this is how they show that they were busy.

If this happens very often with you that your friend responds lately but expects an immediate response from you, and you think that they are playing stupid while showing busy when they are actually not, you simply need to tell them politely that even if they are busy, they should take time for others, otherwise people would not be present when they would actually need them.

Even if your friend keeps showing you they are busy, you should simply start ignoring them as if you would remain caring, you would feel more alone & frustrated in the times when you would be needing them and they would be “busy” somewhere else.

How To Use Positively

The positive use of this fake-busyness is with those whom you actually want to neglect. If there is a person or group of friends you dislike being with, you can simply show this attitude of being extra-busy so you would notice that slowly and gradually the person or group would fade away from your life.

This is the best course of action when you are unwilling to communicate the problem with others, and simply want to be cut off from them without telling any reason.

Warning

• Do not think a person is showing fake-busyness if they refuse you twice or thrice. Only assume if this happens very-often.

• Before deciding for anyone, proper care should be taken as they might be really under some busy schedule or obligations.

• Do not ignore any of your friends unless you are quite sure that they are pretending to be busy to you mostly.

In the next part we will see another type of fake-attitude which is “Jack of all trades, a perfectly imperfect person”.