Are You Feeling Lonely?

• People are communicating more than ever, but less than before.
• You need real human contact to remain happy and healthy.
• Technology is making people feel more and more lonely.

Within the last few decades loneliness has become an increasingly common occurrence, and is something which seems to have been driven largely by recent technological advancements.

As a result of these advancements, the average person is exposed to an increasingly large number of people each day.

However unlike in the past where these contacts would occur face to face, in today’s society most of this contact occurs via a television screen, a computer monitor or a mobile phone.

In this article we shall look at why this blind form of communication is one of the main reasons why people are beginning to feel more and more lonely, despite being surrounded with more and more people.

The Importance Of Face To Face Communication

Humans are genetically designed to gain satisfaction from meaningful relationships with real people, and as a result, receive many benefits from doing so.

For example, babies who are handled frequently when they are young grow bigger, have better muscle development and are generally healthier than babies who receive little or no physical contact.

Another example can be found with people who have lots of friends in their life. These people are much more likely to be happier, healthier and live longer than lonely people.

Whatever the reasons may be for these mental and physical benefits, the fact remains that there is something about real human interaction that completes us, as without it, our body and life slowly starts to break down.

The Technological Bubble

Although technology has made global communication possible, paradoxically it has also resulted in less human interaction. A good example of this can be found with the average family.

Whereas in the past a family would sit down, eat dinner together and talk, nowadays it is far more common to sit in front of the TV and eat without talking.

If you do talk it is usually not about anything significant, since neither you nor the other person wants to be distracted from what you are watching. And that’s if your lucky, as most of the time you will be told to “sssh”!

In some families they don’t even sit together, as the ready instant meal means they can eat whenever and wherever they want.

This social isolation is not confined solely to dinner however, as after dinner each family member will go their separate ways.

Usually returning back to the TV, going on the Internet, playing a computer game, listening to their iPod or chatting on their mobile phone.

The result of this technological bubble is that people are having less face to face communication, and more indirect communication via intermediaries such as computer screens or telephones.

The Frustration Of Virtual Life

Despite the fact that technology now allows a person to communicate with lots of people all over the world, in reality, no matter how many “friends” you have on social networks like facebook they still result in the same thing; a technological bubble which keeps you isolated from real human contact and interaction.

As long as you are isolated from other people you will continue to feel lonely, because these virtual friends cannot adequately satisfy your needs, wants and desires.

The reason for this lack of satisfaction is because most people use technology as a means of distracting themselves from their feelings.

This makes them feel good in the short term, but eventually the distracter leads to frustration because it is not adequately satisfying that persons needs.

For example, suppose someone is feeling lonely, but rather than listening to this feeling they distract themselves from their loneliness by chatting online and participating in various forums.

For the time being this person may think that their needs are being satisfied, as chatting with their Internet friends takes away the feeling of loneliness they once had.

Given enough time however, this person will become increasingly more frustrated because no matter how much they chat online, they can never seem to fulfil one of  their most basic needs; a real relationship with real human contact and interaction.

The longer they ignore their feeling of loneliness the more painful it will become, and the greater their desire will be to use the distracter (chatting online) to further distract themselves from those feelings. If this continues, the person may eventually slip into depression.

If you have ever chatted with someone online and wanted to meet up with them, then what you experience was this feeling of frustration I just described, which came as a result of you being unable to satisfy your needs with your current actions.

Another example which shows how virtual relationships fail to satisfy our needs, can be found with online dating. Most people find it fun to flirt for awhile, but eventually virtual flirting is not very satisfying.

This is why online dating frequently results in people meeting up in the real world, because face to face communication and contact is the only way to truly satisfy your needs.

In the next article, we shall continue by looking at some of the effects technology has on social relationships, and some ways in which you can respond appropriately to the feeling of loneliness.