Communication Skills: The Power And Advantage Of Asking Questions
- We are naturally conditioned to answer questions!
- Questions can allow you to control a conversation.
- Questions are persuasion in disguise!
As a persuader, one of the most powerful communication tools you can use are questions.
If used correctly, questions can allow you to control the flow of a conversation, whilst at the same time extract valuable information that could be used to make your persuasion attempt more effective.
In this article, we are going to be taking a closer look at how to use questions, and the different types of questions you can ask when attempting to persuade another person.
Questions Demand Answers  Â
As children, the large majority of our schooling consisted of learning how to answer questions.
We may have had to answers questions asked by our teachers, questions set for essay topics or questions in exams.
The result of this is that by the time we are adults, we have become conditioned to automatically feel the need to answer a question when it is asked.
When someone can’t answer a question, we look down on that person, and suspect they may have something to hide or that they do not know their subject very well.Â
Questions Keep You In Control
With carefully crafted questions you can control many aspects of a conversation, allowing you to present your message in a more persuasive way. Here some ways of doing this:
Control The Issues:
When asking the questions, you control what topic or issues are discussed. By doing this you can focus the conversation on the things you want to talk about, whilst at the same time avoiding things you would prefer not to be discussed.
Set The Mood:
Depending on the type of question you ask, questions can alter the mood of a conversation in either a positive or negative way. This is usually done by first making a statement, and ending it with a question.
You can tailor this question to make a person angry, happy, fearful or suggest that you suspect them of something. It all depends on what mood you are trying to put them in.
Set The Pace:
If a conversation has suddenly strayed away from the central topic, asking a question can get you back on topic and discussing the key issues. Asking more questions about the issues can then speed up the pace.
Conversely, if a conversation is progressing too quickly and you need more time to think, use a question as a diversionary strategy to get the person to momentarily focus on something else.
This is especially useful when someone is arguing with you. By asking a person questions about loosely related issues you can break their train of thought and slow them down, which then calms them down, and makes them feel less angry.
Questions Persuade
When you try to persuade someone using reasons, they are more likely to resist your persuasion attempt.
This is because giving someone a list of reasons why they should do something, makes it appear as if you are obviously trying to manipulate them. People are far more likely to be persuaded when they do not realize they are being persuaded.
Questions allow you to persuade in disguise. Rather than you making a statement yourself (and making it look like you are trying to persuade), by asking a question you can get the other person to think or respond in a certain way.
This way you can conceal your persuasion attempt, whilst at the same time, making the other person think they responded how they did without being influenced.
What they didn’t realize however, was that by asking a question you implanted a thought into their mind which influenced how they responded.
For example, if you want to tell someone how good your product is, rather than making a statement about the quality of your product (which they will naturally be suspicious of) you can turn your statement into a question. So you could ask them if they know how many satisfied customers have purchased your product in the past?
Obviously the person will not know the answer, but that was not the purpose of your question.
The purpose was to imply their have been satisfied customers in the past, thereby implanting the idea in their mind that you are selling a good product. Essentially what you have done here is disguise your persuasive message as a question.
Questions are therefore an excellent way to get people to think or say certain things, without them fully realizing that’s what you wanted them to think or say.
In the next article we will look at the various types of questions you can ask.
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