Self Acceptance : The Importance Of Accepting Yourself

• True self acceptance takes honesty and courage.
• You don’t have to like something to accept it!
• Self acceptance allows you to take the best course of action.

In this article we are going to be taking an introductory look at self acceptance, so that you can better understand what it is and how it affects your life.

If you have not already read the articles on self esteem, I urge you to do so. Whilst self acceptance and self esteem are very similar, there are very important differences between the two.

Taking the time to fully understand and improve both of them, is one of the most valuable and rewarding things you could ever do for yourself.

It would be no exaggeration to say that by learning to accept yourself for the person you are (self acceptance) and feeling good about yourself whilst being confident in your abilities (self esteem), will benefit every aspect of your life, not just for today, but for the rest of your life.

How Do You Define Self Acceptance?

In its most simplest form, self acceptance means accepting yourself fully for the person you are. True self acceptance comes from an acceptance of the both the things you like about yourself, and the things you don’t.

Self acceptance is therefore something you do, it is an active process that involves a willingness to experience feelings, thoughts and emotions without denial or evasion.

A lack of self acceptance involves an unwillingness to experience these feelings, thoughts and emotions, thereby leading to a rejection of self, or self rejection.

True self acceptance therefore means honestly accepting the facts of your reality, rather than choosing to deny, disown or repress the things you may not like about yourself.

As you will discover through these articles, self acceptance does not mean you can’t change the things you dislike, but rather it is the only way that you can change things for the better.

Accepting Your Emotions

Although self acceptance involves a willingness to accept and experience your feelings, this does not mean that once you are self accepting you will become ruled by your emotions, and incapable of logical thought.

For example, suppose today you are not in the mood to work, but you know you have to because you have an important project you must complete.

A person who lacks self acceptance would automatically try to deny or repress these feelings, disassociating themselves from the reality of how they feel.

The consequence of this would most likely manifest itself physically in the form of frustration, tension, boredom or even anger.

This occurs because by denying how you truly feel you begin your day with self deception, and a denial of reality.

As a result you do not take appropriate action to remedy the situation, which causes an internal conflict within you, which manifests itself as the physical symptoms previously described.

However, a person who is self accepting can acknowledge that they may not be in the mood to work, but rather than trying to fight against those feelings by denying or repressing them, they accept their feelings and get started on the project.

By accepting the true reality of their situation they do not begin their day with self deception, and therefore do not create an internal conflict within themselves.

As a result they begin their day with a clear mind, and a focused approach to their work.

Experiencing What You Accept

When it comes being self accepting, accepting what you experience, or have experienced, is a crucial component of self acceptance, and may even play a role in determining how healthy you will be in the future.

Many doctors now believe that a large number of diseases are caused by negative emotions, people have held onto their whole lives. 

Feelings such as hate, anger or resentment literally build up inside that person, because they are unable to accept them and release them through forgiveness.

In fact, many of these doctors have told of how their once “incurable” patients healed themselves, by learning to accept and forgive the wrong that was done to them in the past.

However for many patients this forgiveness did not come easily, and required much courage to confront the pain they had been repressing their whole life.

It was only once these patients had acknowledged, experienced, confronted and understood the reality of their situation, were they able to release the negativity that had made them so sick.

This example is just one of the remarkable benefits that self acceptance can give you and your life.

You Don’t Have To Like Everything You Accept

One of the biggest misconceptions people have about self acceptance, is that self acceptance means liking everything and being able to change nothing. This could not be further from the truth!

It is important to understand that self acceptance doesn’t necessarily mean liking or enjoying. But rather it means accepting the true reality of a situation, whether you find it pleasant or not.

A self accepting person therefore realises that reality is reality, and running away from problems will not solve them.

They also realise that whilst they may accept something they dislike, they can still be determined to change or improve it.

For example, suppose you are uncomfortable with a certain part of your body. You can accept that you do not like the way it currently is, and recognise that for the time being, in your present reality, it is what is.

By accepting the feelings associated with this part of your body (which in this case will most likely be negative feelings) you put yourself in a position where you can take appropriate steps to change or improve it (if it is possible to do so).

If you did not accept the negative feelings you experienced from this part of your body, and instead chose to deny or disown them, then it is very unlikely that by ignoring these feelings would you take effective and appropriate action to alter that part of your body.

In other words, by lacking self acceptance you also lack the power and control needed to affect a meaningful change into your life.

There Is Always A Reason For Every Wrong

Self acceptance also involves the idea of compassion, of being a friend to yourself. For example, if you have done something you are ashamed of, or you regret, self acceptance would not mean trying to argue that what was wrong was right.

Rather, self acceptance involves looking at the context in which the action was taken. It wants to understand the why. It wants to know why something that feels wrong, felt desirable, appropriate or even necessary at the time.

This last point is especially important. As It is impossible to fully understand why someone did the things they did, without first examining the internal processes and reasons that prompted their behaviour in the first place.

To illustrate this point, consider the example of a murderer or serial killer. If you ask a murderer why they killed someone, often they will tell you that they believed that person should die and then provide a reason why.

In their mind this reason justified their action, and allowed them to carry out the act.

This same principle is found with all people, not just criminals. Everyone has a reason which in their mind justified their action as right at the time they did it, even though in reality what did may have been terribly wrong. Acceptance involves the examination of this reason.

So when practicing self acceptance it is importance realise that there is always some kind of context in which the worst of actions can have their sense.

True acceptance therefore comes not from viewing wrong as right, or right as wrong, but rather from the understanding of the context and the resulting actions that came from it.

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