The Effects Of Guilt

• Following the wrong labels can cause guilt.
• Living with guilt can cause anxiety and depression.
• Overcoming guilt results in an expression of your true self.

The things you do today, and the way you live your life, can broadly be divided into either “good” or “bad”. When you do good things you receive approval, and when you do bad things you receive disapproval.

Most guilt therefore tends to come as a result of doing “bad things”, or not doing “good things”.

However have you ever stopped to think about who decides upon these labels? Who decides what is good, and what is bad? And are these labels really applicable to you, and what you stand for and believe in?

Whilst these labels may seem innocent enough, they are in fact one of the major causes of inappropriate guilt.

This term describes something which you regard as being good or bad, but conflicts with an externally imposed label that tells you the opposite.

The result of this internal conflict manifests itself as inappropriate guilt, as you are torn between two oppositional labels.

Is It Good Or Is It Bad?

Sexual guilt provides a good example of how oppositional labels can result in feelings of guilt, and is something which is commonly experienced by teenagers (especially when homosexuality is involved).

Teens who find themselves attracted, or sexually curious, to members of the same sex, often experience intense amounts of guilt for having the thoughts and feelings they do.

On the one hand they have their own moral code, which tells them there is nothing wrong with being attracted to the same sex, and that how they choose to live their life is entirely up to them.

However conflicting with this belief is the externally imposed label that homosexuality is bad, and therefore those who engage in such activities are also bad.

This label may come from society, friends and/or family and tells them that what they believe in is wrong and so they should feel guilty about it.

As a result of these conflicting oppositional labels, people can feel guilty simply for trying to live their life the way they want to live it. When this guilt occurs, it may affect them in several ways.

The Effects Of Guilt

The most common result of guilt is anxiety and depression. In an attempt to escape these negative emotions, the guilty person will often choose to deny, disown or repress their guilt, by trying to forget about the event/action/thought that caused their guilt in the first place.

So for example, rather than a homosexual expressing homosexuality, they would express heterosexuality by pretending to themselves and others that they are attracted to members of the opposite sex.

However because this person is not expressing their true self and living their life based on externally imposed labels, they are never likely to be fully satisfied or truly happy in life.

In cases where a person is unable to deny, disown or repress their guilt to a manageable level, the depression and anxiety they experience may be so severe that they choose to escape it through suicide.

Another possible outcome of guilt is acceptance, whereby the person is able to accept what they have done and either forgive themselves for their past actions, or decide that they have done nothing wrong which they need to feel guilty about.

Guilt Keeps You Locked In The Past

Although there many more different outcomes of guilt, in general guilt is either something you choose to experience, or choose not to experience.

By choosing to experience guilt you choose to focus on the past, which prevents you from living your life to its full potential.

By choosing not to experience guilt however, you choose to focus on the future, and are therefore able to obtain the maximum enjoyment out of life through the expression of your true self.

Remember, you can never be truly happy pretending to be someone else, or denying who you really are. The person who knows you best is not society, not your friends and not your family. It is you, and only you.

This is why you should live by your own labels. Know your own moral code, know what you think is good or bad and then live your life according to that code.

The moment you start trying to live under externally imposed labels, is the moment you will experience conflict within you.

This is because we all have different moral codes that are individually unique to us, and therefore different codes will eventually start to conflict with each other.

In order to live by your moral code you must shed your need for external approval, as whenever you seek approval from someone you are choosing to live by what they see as being good or bad.

As long as this occurs you are likely to experience frequent bouts of guilt, and the accompanying anxiety and/or depression that results.