Examples Of Open, Closed And Disturbing Questions
- Open questions can get people to open up and talk.
- Questions can improve your negotiation skills.
- Leading questions can alter a persons memory!
Questions are an extremely important communication skill, because they can not only influence the direction of a conversation but also the outcome.
This makes questions an essential part of your negotiation skills, because once you know how to ask the right type of question you are much more likely to get the results you want.
In this article we shall be looking at the different types of questions, and how you can use them to improve your negotiation skills and your overall communication skills.
Open Questions
Open questions are one of the most important communication skills you can use, because they are very effective in gathering valuable information which you could use to persuade someone with if needed.
An open question requires a response that cannot be answered with one or two word answers.
Examples Of Open Questions
“What did you do yesterday?”, “What are your plans for next week?” or “How does this work?” are all open questions. In general, open questions start with “what”, “how” or “why”.
Advantages Of Open Questions
Open questions can get a person to talk and open up. This can make them particularly useful when you are trying to improve your negotiation skills or general communication skills.
Once that person opens up, they are likely to reveal information about themselves which you can use to your advantage.
You will often find that when you do get people to open up like this, they will provide you with lots of “free information”. This is simply extra information you did not specifically ask for.
Overall incorporating open questions into your speech will help to improve your communication skills, by revealing to you information that you can use to your advantage.
Disadvantages Of Open Questions
Open questions are not perfect, and are therefore not the only communication skill you should rely on.
All open questions do is get the other person to talk, and they don’t even guarantee that. For example, you can ask someone “what did you do yesterday?” and they could reply “oh nothing really”.
This is quite an important point to make regarding negotiation skills and communications skills in general.
People will often not behave the way you would expect them too, so you should always be prepared to use different communication skills and think quickly on your feet.
Closed Questions
Closed questions are those that require a one or two word answer. For example, “what time is it?” or, “what star sign are you?” Are examples of closed questions.
However it is important to remember that like open questions, people may behave unexpectedly and give long responses to your closed question.
Advantages Of Closed Questions
Closed questions are most useful when drawing a conversation down to a close. You can use closed questions for example to narrow the focus of a conversation, and eventually pin that person into making a definite commitment/conclusion.
This means you can improve your negotiation skills by asking closed questions towards the end of your negotiation.
Closed questions can also be used to “fish” for interesting topics or issues to discuss should you feel you are running out of things to say, or simply wish to tailor your persuasion to better suite their character/interests.
Disturbing Questions
Whilst open and closed question certainly are useful in helping you to persuade a person, one of their main limitations is that don’t necessarily provoke people to change the way they think or the things they do.
Disturbing question however can provoke people into change. To use disturbing questions, you first have to find a certain problem or concern a person may have. These could include things such as money, health or relationships.
You then need to phrase your question in a way that will frighten or disturb that person, to make them sit up straight and think about the consequences of not doing what have proposed. By doing this, you actively shift their thinking and get them to want to change.
For example, “Did you know that 10 people get attacked by crazed animals at the zoo each year? So always make sure you keep your car windows closed!”
Leading Questions
Leading questions are another technique you can use to influence how a person thinks. A leading question is one that alters the way a person perceives a fact or event.
This was first demonstrated in an experiment where people were asked a series of questions after watching a car accident on film.
One group were asked how fast the cars were going when they smashed into each other. The second group was asked how fast the cars were going when they hit each other. And the final group were asked how fast the cars were going when they made contact.
The researchers found that the first group estimated the cars to be traveling at 40mph. The second group estimated the speed to be 34mph. And the last group 31mph. So just changing the way the question was asked, influenced how fast each group perceived the cars to be traveling.
What was even more surprising was when asked if they had seen the broken headlight, people were 3 times more likely to respond yes, than when asked if they had seen a broken headlight.
However there was in fact no broken headlight! This simple leading question altered their memory, and caused them to recall something that didn’t even happen. This is how powerful leading questions can be in influencing someone.
Rhetorical Questions
A rhetorical question is a question that you give the answer to by asking the question, and do not expect a response to.
For example, “do I look like I give a dam?”, “You know what I mean?” or “what do you think I am? Some kind of idiot?” are all rhetorical questions.
Rhetorical questions are used to engage your listener, and make them think about the obvious answer. Because you are engaging the listener, rhetorical questions are much more persuasive than direct statements.
Very nice series of articles. You have defined a very interesting way for better communications however, if you could please include some examples in this, like in this last part, if you could write some examples of closed and disturbing questions it would be better.
All over, very good series!
Examples have been added.
I thought your articles were very insightful yet lacked an acknowledgement of just casually shooting the breeze with someone. Ifound it interesting that you saved questions till almost the end. To me questions are the first part of persuasion or negotiating.By asking questions right away you are able to customize your point of view to the other persons responce. Yuo went from assertiveness tecniques to persuasion. I guess it is the next step. I don’t think you went over choosing when to state your point of view or proper time so that your audience is most likely to absorb the info you have to say or being able to ask for some time to respond to someones inquiry in order to give a more thought out responce. I like the voice topics you had as well Thank you for a very nice way of thinking about things. I am bipolar and struggle with assertiveness,self esteem nervousness,body language,posture so it really helps me to see what I am doing from another perspective. I constantly look at the ground and avoid eye contact. I have found many things on the ground but in reality there is nothing there. Peace
Mark, I don’t think this piece is worthy of any discrimination, make your own site up if you feel you can do better. This is all a guideline not change your whole life in 30 days, sorry but it shits me when people critisize a job well done and someone who is willing to help others out. I can see why Martin hasn’t bothered answering to what you wrote.
Its ok, i ask people on the homepage to let me know if they think anything could be improved or done better.
As for this article series, the order of the articles was not meant to reflect the order in which the information should be used.
But this gives me a good opportunity to talk about dealing with criticism, which you asked me about in an earlier comment.
When people criticise me i first think about what they have said, to see if it has any validity.
If i think they have made a reasonable point, i will take it onboard and use it to improve myself.
If i think what they have said is unreasonable, or said out of spite, i will just ignore it and not let it get to me. If they continue to criticise me, i will talk to them about it and ask them to stop.
But whatever the case may be, i dont let it get to me.
Great Stuff, Very Informative and educational to the novice or even someone out there wanting to sharpen his/her skills
Keep up the Great Job!