Fear And The Fulfillment Of Needs

• Fear provides you with powerful motivational energy.
• In developed countries, most fear comes from fear of emotional harm.
• Fear is intimately related with your needs.

Nobody likes to feel afraid, and when we do, we are unlikely to admit it to others. This is especially true for males who instead prefer to use words such as nervous, anxious or worried in an attempt maintain their masculinity.

In fact many men feel ashamed to admit they are afraid of something, and so are far more likely than women to deny this feeling.

However like all the feelings we have been discussing so far, the feeling of being scared or afraid carries a very important message.

The Message Of Fear

Fear, which comes as a result of some perceived danger or negative consequence, tells us that we need to take action before those bad things happen to us.

Because fear is also a very powerful emotion like anger, the motivational energy it generates within us can be both hard to control and overwhelming at times.

For this reason alone, listening to your fear, rather than trying to hide from it or ignore it, will enable you to use its motivational energy constructively. Thereby preventing the debilitating effects that come from trying to ignore fear.

This is why you will often hear people tell you that in order to overcome your fear, you must face your fear. Because if you don’t face your fear, its motivational energy will control you, rather than you controlling it.

Fear And The Fulfilment Of Needs

If you live in an economically developed country, there is a good chance that most of your basic needs are being met.

Since you have access to regular food, water and a place to stay, very rarely will you experience fear as a result of a life threatening situation.

When you do, it will usually be because of some unexpected or sudden event, such as an accident, illness, natural disaster or terrorist attack.

The fear most people experience in developed countries, therefore tends to come not from situations which could cause us physical harm, but rather from situations that could cause us emotional harm.

This emotional harm which comes as a result of unfulfilled needs, causes us to feel unsafe or insecure in our environment, which subsequently leads to the feeling of fear. The more insecure or unsafe we feel, the more fearful we are likely to become.

For example, if you feel slightly insecure, you might say that you are feeling concerned about something. Whilst if you are feeling very insecure, you might say you are feeling very anxious, or very worried.

Fear And Your Needs

Whatever the level of your fear is, it is important to recognise the intimate relationship fear has with your needs.

Because the more needs you have unfulfilled, the more likely you are to feel insecure/unsafe and so the more fear you will experience.

Below are some examples to demonstrate this relationship between fear and the fulfilment of your needs.

Sadness

Sadness can come as a result of fearing that you will loose someone or something important to you, which will result in you being unable to fulfil some need.

Stress

When you are afraid you won’t get something done, or done well, you are likely to experience stress as a result of that fear.

Boredom

If you are constantly bored, you may then begin to fear that you are wasting your life away, your life has no real purpose or that you are unimportant.

Loneliness

If you are lonely all the time, you may fear that you will never find another person with whom you can have a romantic relationship with.

Motivation From Fear

As you can see from the examples above, fear is at the very heart of virtually all the pain and emotional discomfort we experience.

This fear which comes from unsatisfied primary feelings, is meant to motivate you into taking action so that you can fulfil your needs.

If you ignore your feelings of fear however, your needs will remain unfulfilled and your feelings will become increasingly more painful.