How First Impressions Are Made
- Bad first impressions can be very hard to undo!
- Understand what people do when making first impressions.
- Be careful. First impressions can be misleading!
You have probably heard that someone makes their mind up about you within the first 30 seconds.
This is actually not far from the truth.
Research has shown that it takes about 2 minutes for someone to decide whether they like you or not, and about 4 minutes for this impression to lock in.
Should you make a bad first impression, it can take 6-8 future meetings to overcome this impression. This is why making a good first impression is so important, especially if you are trying to influence someone.
How Are First Impressions Made?
When we meet someone for the first time we do the following:
- Scan their face and eyes
- Look at their body
- Examine what they are wearing
- Listen to their tone of voice
- Shake hands if appropriate
- Listen to their words
You should remember this little sequence of events, because each sequence provides a key opportunity for making a good first impression. So let’s break these sequences down, and look at them in closer detail.
First Impression - Head
To start with, people will first look at your face and eyes. So if you have messy hair, a dirty face, shifty eyes and generally look unhappy/unfriendly, people are likely to gain a negative first impression of you.
To make a good first impression always ensure that you look clean and presentable. Look the person in the eyes (don’t look at the ground or to the sides) and smile. This will convey the message that you are a warm, open and confident person.
First Impression - Body
The next thing people do is look at your body, whilst at the same time examining what you are wearing. When people look at your body, they look for things such as your overall weight, build and clothing style.
Generally speaking, fat or obese people are considered to be lazy, unhealthy and undisciplined.
Muscular/well toned people are considered to be powerful, dominant and commanding respect.
Women who purposefully display their breasts in a seductive and revealing manner, tend to be taken less seriously or underestimated by men.
Other things which are noted include your hands. Are your hands fidgeting nervously/uncomfortably? Or do they rest casually/confidently by your sides?
Your posture is another important factor. Do you slouch? Or do you stand up straight? Slouching can convey weakness, whilst an erect posture conveys confidence and power.
In addition to your physical body, the clothes you wear are also important. Whilst the actual clothes themselves may differ in style, they should always be suited to the occasion.
For example, you wouldn’t go into a business meeting wearing a bathing outfit, just as you wouldn’t go to the beach in a business suit.
The clothes you wear should support the image/message you want to convey to others. If you are unsure what clothes will convey this message, look for clues by examining how other people are dressed.
First Impression - Voice
After soaking in your visual components, the next important factor in making a good first impression is your voice and the words you use.
This will usually occur by politely introducing yourself. Normally the person who introduces themselves first will be seen as the more dominant and confident person.
Whilst this introduction may vary depending on your culture, introductions are usually carried out with a brief yet moderately firm handshake.
At the same time you should also look the other person in the eye, smile and say hello with an additional remark (in a later article we will look at these forms of body language in greater detail).
If you just say hello without making a further short statement, this may “kill the flow” of your conversation.
To fuel the conversation you can use compliments. Everyone likes to feel important, and by complimenting them you fulfill this need.
You can then further extend the conversation by finding out what the person likes to talk about, or in other words, their interests. If you talk about things they are not interested in, your conversation will not last very long.
This warm, open and non hostile introduction will convey the message that you are a likable, nice and confident person.
First Impression Can Be Misleading!
Whilst first impressions are extremely important, they should not be relied solely upon to form an absolute judgment of a person, as often, first impressions can be misleading.
Adolf Hitler for example was initially not taken seriously by British Prime Ministers Neville Chamberlain and Winston Churchill, due to his “silly” moustache, slick hair and thin/weak appearance.
Similarly, Bill Gates was equally underestimated by his early competitors due to his “geeky” looks.
What we learn from these examples is that you should always try to make a good first impression when dealing with other people.
However, you should be careful in forming a concrete judgment of someone based solely on their looks. Sometimes people can be very different from the way they appear. So remember, never judge a book by its cover!
First Impression’s Don’t Always Go As Planned
AÂ word of warning. Do not become discouraged if someone does not react favourably to your efforts at making a good first impression.
Sometimes people are just having a bad day or are naturally suspicious of new people (due to bad experiences in the past) and so may react negatively towards you.
Bear this in mind and don’t take it personally. You must then decide whether you want to pursue the person further, or move on to someone else.
In the next article we will take a look at how cultural communication styles can differ throughout the world.
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