Are You Who You Think You Are?
How To Overcome Constant Fear
- You are not your thoughts!
- Monitor your self talk to reverse negative subconscious beliefs
- If your fear is from real danger, take action to avoid it.
One of the most common mistakes people make when it comes to negative self talk, is thinking that every thought they have is true. Nothing could be further from the truth!
For example, just because you think “I am such a looser” doesn’t mean you are a looser! It just means you have some negative subconscious beliefs, which are now causing you to think this way.
So whenever you do have such negative thoughts, recognise the fact that you are not your thoughts. Just because you think something bad about yourself, doesn’t necessarily mean its true.
Once you have acknowledged these thoughts, you can then replace them with something more positive and empowering.
By doing so you will not only help to break the self reinforcing cycle of your negative beliefs, but also prevent yourself from experiencing the negative emotional memory associated with them.
So the next time you come across some negative self talk, give it a go and you will be surprised at just how powerful of an effect monitoring your self talk can have.
Making Positive Self Talk A Habit
Depending on your age, some people may find this harder than others. As the older you are, the longer you are likely to have used negative self talk, which means your negative beliefs will have been reinforced over many years.
However it is still possible to reverse the damage that’s been done, as long as you make the effort to monitor your thoughts.
Don’t worry though, once you get into the habit of using positive self talk it will become second nature.
If you find it difficult to monitor your thoughts just by thinking about them, create a journal and write down all the negative limiting thoughts you have during the week.
This will allow you to spot patterns in your self talk, whilst also giving you the opportunity to find suitable replacements for them.
To help you do this, use the following guidelines.
The Event
Identify what event caused you to experience the bad feeling.
The Thought
Identify the thought or belief associated with that feeling.
The Action
Identify how that thought or belief caused you to act.
The Evidence
Challenge your belief by asking yourself if it is true, and what evidence you have to support it.
The New Belief
Create a new belief by changing your perspective of the situation. What other way could you positively interpret your thoughts/beliefs?
How To Overcome Your Constant Fear
Use the following guidelines to help you identify your fear and respond appropriately to it.
1 – Identify Fear
Fear can come in many different forms, although in general, fear makes you feel anxious, insecure, frightened, nervous or worried. All of these represent different levels of intensity of fear.
2 – Remember The Meaning Of Fear
Fear tells you that something bad might happen to you, and so you should take action to prevent it from happening.
3 – Determine What Is Causing Your Fear
Fear is caused by a danger or threat which may harm you or someone you care about. This includes both physical and emotional harm.
4 – Respond Appropriately To Your Fear
Whenever you experience fear the first step is to evaluate the situation, and then determine whether your perspective of it is correct.
Ask yourself questions such as, “Am i really in danger here?”, “What’s the worst thing that could happen to me?”
If you find that you genuinely do have something to fear because you are in real danger, take action upon it or prepare yourself for it.
If you can avoid this danger by staying away from it, then do so. For example, if there is a big storm coming and it could end up destroying your house (real danger), then appropriately responding to your fear would involve leaving town and going somewhere safe until the storm has passed.
However it is important to remember that this only applies to fear that comes from real danger. It should not be used as a means to escape or run away from other types of fear (such as asking someone out on a date) which pose no real danger.
If you do so, you will allow fear to control you by restricting what you do in your life.
For Situations You Can’t Avoid
If you are unable to avoid a situation which is causing you fear, try to create a plan of action which will make the best of a bad situation, even though the end result may not be what you would like.
Recognise Real Danger
For situations in which you find there is no real danger, or a slim chance of danger, recognise that your fear is most likely coming from your negative internal mental programming. In this case, use the steps discussed earlier to monitor and adjust your self talk.
Summary
Unless you are living in an unstable country where your basic needs are not being met, or there is a very real threat of physical danger (such as war or terrorism) the fear you experience comes largely as a result of your unfulfilled needs and/or negative mental programming.
By listening to your fear, you can use the motivational energy it gives you to take action to fulfil your needs.
If you find that you are constantly in a state of fear because of negative thoughts, monitoring and adjusting your self talk will enable you to overcome this habitual fear by preventing the reinforcement of negative beliefs and replacing them with positive beliefs.
