Effectively Ending Your Frustration
How To Stop Feeling Frustrated / Frustration
Use the guidelines given in this article to help you overcome and respond appropriately to the feeling of frustration.
1 – Remember The Meaning Of Frustration
The feeling of frustration tells you that what you are currently doing is not working, and so you should try a different approach.
2 – Identify The Feeling Of Frustration
Frustration makes you feel as though you have little or no control over your surrounding environment.
It can also make you feel like giving up, because nothing you do is getting you what you are trying to achieve.
Fear and anger are two common feelings that are associated with frustration.
3 – Decide Why You Are Feeling Frustrated
If you are feeling frustrated ask yourself “What am I doing that is not working?” “Are my feelings of frustration coming as a result of me trying to distract myself from my feelings?”
4 – Do Something To Stop Your Frustration
To end your frustration you need to do something that satisfies a currently unfulfilled need.
To do this, first determine which of your primary feelings are currently causing you pain, and then determine what message they are trying to communicate to you.
You can find the meaning of your primary feelings in the articles below (click to open them):
Construct A Plan Of Action To End Your Frustration
Once you have identified your feeling and its corresponding message, take some course of action to successfully satisfy the need associated with that feeling.
At this point it is worth bearing in mind that the actions you take will not necessarily result in a reduction or elimination of your frustration.
This is because the actions you take may not result in a fulfilment of your needs, which will cause you to continue feeling frustrated.
This is where persistence comes in. In order to get through challenging times like this when nothing seems to be working for you, you must be willing to continually try new approaches until you succeed.
Only when you take an effective course of action that results in the fulfilment of your needs, will you be able to get rid of your frustration.
What To Do If Frustration Overpowers Your Primary Feeling
Sometimes the feelings of frustration we experience can be so powerful, that they disguise our primary feelings from us. This can result in us feeling frustrated without knowing what need our frustration is trying to help us fulfil.
When this occurs and you are unsure of your primary feeling, try to break down what is happening to you by reverse engineering the situation. To do this, ask yourself questions such as:
“What is causing me to feel frustrated?”
e.g., my computer keeps crashing
“What is it I am trying to do?”
e.g., finish my work
“What need am I trying to fulfil?”
e.g., my need for growth and development
Responding Appropriately To Your Primary Feeling
Once you have an idea of what need you are trying to fulfil, you will be in a better position to understand what your primary feeling is.
Continuing the example above, I might decide that my primary feeling is anger because my computer keeps crashing when I am trying to do my work.
Once I understand my primary feeling, I can then respond appropriately to it by remembering what anger is trying to tell me.
Anger tells me that something about this situation is unfair or not right, and so I should do something about it to make it right.
An appropriate response to this anger could involve finding another computer to work on, or doing something to fix my computer.
If I had not done this reverse engineering process to discover my primary feeling, I may have instead responded inappropriately such as by hitting the computer monitor. This of course would not satisfy my need, and only leave me feeling more frustrated.
What To Do If Your Plan Isn’t Working
If you are already aware of what your primary feeling is, but are still experiencing frustration as a result of your efforts, this may be for several reasons.
• You are not putting as much effort into it as you should.
• You are not being consistent with your efforts.
• You are expecting immediate results and not giving yourself enough time to do it right.
• Your method of satisfying your unfulfilled need is the correct method, but you need to alter it slightly.
• What you are doing just isn’t working, and so you need to try a completely new approach.
Whatever the cause may be, just remember that by trying harder at something which doesn’t work will only cause you more frustration. So try to get creative and think of new ways to tackle the problem.
Summary
The feeling of frustration comes as a result of unsatisfied primary feelings, which tells us that what we are currently doing to satisfy our needs is not working, and so we should try something else.
Frustration can prevent you from entering depression, which will eventually occur if your needs continue to remain unfulfilled.
By listening to frustration you can minimise the pain you experience from it and your primary feelings, by taking an effective course of action that results in the fulfilment of your needs.
