How To Understand Your Fears

• Find out as much you can about your fears.
• The brain makes fears worse than they actually are!
• Let people keep their fantasy image of you!

Much fear is caused by ignorance, and people are scared of what they do not know. The reason behind this is very simple. When your brain is given a few pieces of information, it fills in the rest of the details by itself.

For example, when you look at a picture on a computer screen, or a piece of paper, what you are actually seeing is a series of tiny dots.

However because the dots are so small your brain fills in the gaps, and you see it as a complete picture.

Here’s another example.

If I were to tell you I have an Aloe Vera plant on my desk (which I do), that would be 2 pieces of information. Your brain will then construct a mental image of the Aloe Vera plant and the desk, using those 2 pieces of information.

It will then fill in the rest of the details such as the type of desk or the size of the plant by itself.

However if I were to then tell you it is a large plant, in a white pot and on a 1960s English oak desk, your mental image will change based upon the updated information you have just received.

The point is, the more information you have about something, the less your brain will work to “fill in the gaps” and the less chance you will start worrying about things that may not even happen or exist.

Relationships 

Here’s a quick tip for anyone in a relationship. This same principle of the brain filling in the gaps, is exactly what happens at the very start of a relationship.

Often when you meet someone for the first time, they will know very little about you. As a result their brain will fill in the gaps, creating a “fantasy” mental image of you (when I say fantasy I don’t mean in a kinky way!)

This “fantasy image” is what the other person will initially find attractive, and is why relationships start out very strongly.

However over time as the other person gets to know more about you (by you providing them with new information) this fantasy image begins to crumble, as the new information you are providing them is not consistent with who they “thought” you were.

Eventually the fantasy image will be completely destroyed and they will be left with the real you. Often this is when relationships break up.

So if you are trying to attract a certain person, don’t be too eager to tell them everything about you immediately.

Let it slowly drip out over time, and make them work for it. By doing this they will desire you more, and the fantasy image of you will last longer.

In Brief – Learn as much as you can about something, before your brain starts “filling in the gaps” with worry and fear.