The Importance Of Goal Setting In Relationships

Regardless of whether you are in a social or romantic relationship, if you want that relationship to last you must set goals for it.

Most people do not think about doing goal setting for relationships, as they see goal setting as something which only applies to the things they want to achieve, have or do.

However even when we use this description, it is clear that goal setting can equally be applied to the things we want to do or have with the people in our life.

Types Of Goal Setting For Relationships

There are two types of goal setting you can do when it comes to relationships: one sided or two sided goal setting.

One Sided Goal Setting

One sided goal setting is a goal you set for yourself, without the other person knowing about that goal.

For example, if you have a business relationship with someone then your goal may be to sell them something or get them to agree to a deal.

If you are in a romantic relationship with someone, your goal may be to marry them.

Notice how both of these goals are long term goals. They are things that you will have to work to achieve, and therefore they give direction and purpose to that relationship.

Without having such goals these relationships would be nothing more than casual acquaintances, not really going in any particular direction or with any particular purpose.

This is especially important to note in romantic relationships, because if one partner feels that relationship is going nowhere (has no purpose or direction) they will usually end that relationship.

Two Sided Goal Setting

The second type of goal setting that can occur in a relationship is where both people are working towards the same goal.

For example, in a business relationship two people may be working towards the same goal in a negotiation.

Or in a social relationship, two people may want to travel and see the world together.

Again, both of these examples show how goals give relationships purpose and a sense of direction.

Although in this case because both members are aware of that goal, the relationship can seem to have more purpose and direction because both members are working towards the same goal.

However, this can also lead to conflicts if each member in that relationship starts to desire different things (goals). If this turns out to be a large difference, it could disrupt the relationship and even end it.

Reviewing Relationship Goals

Whatever method you use for relationship goal setting, it is always important to review the goals you have set.

If you are setting one sided goals, then you should periodically review your goals and see if they are still applicable to your current situation.

Very rarely will goals remain static, so there is a good chance they may need to be modified.

If you are setting two sided goals, you should find this process a lot easier as you will be working with someone else and can get their feedback.

However be aware that as your relationship matures, you and your partner’s goals are also likely to mature.

In some cases this may mean you still both want the same thing, although more commonly, you will find that your goals will start to differ slightly.

When this happens several things can occur:

• You create new or slightly differently goals which satisfy what you both want to achieve.

• You both decide you want completely different things and so you each go your own way.

• One person gives up on their goals to make the other person happy.

Out of all of these relationship goal setting scenarios, the ideal outcome is to create new goals that satisfy both members of that relationship.

This is because if both members feel that relationship is going in a direction they want it to go, they will be happy to stay in it.

If for example they become unhappy with the direction of that relationship (such as by agreeing to goals to make another person happy), it is unlikely that relationship will last very long.

So when it comes to relationship goal setting just remember that in order for a relationship to last and be successful over time, you and/or your partner should set goals so that relationship has a purpose and a direction. Without any of these, the relationship will eventually crumble.