Things To Remember When Persuading People

Important Points To Remember When Using Persuasion Techniques

  • Persuasion takes time and effort!
  • Some people will not change their mind no matter what you say!
  • Match persuasion to belief systems.

Many people often have false impressions regarding persuasion. They may see some actor in a film persuading someone to do something, and assume that all persuasion occurs easily and effortlessly. However the reality is not quite like this.

worship persuasionWhilst you may be able to persuade some people easily and quickly, the vast majority will require frequent exposures to your persuasion.

It is very rare for example for a person who is extremely angry with you, to suddenly become your best friend and worship you because you persuaded them too.

Rather it is more likely for you to neutralize that hostility, and through repeated future efforts, turn that neutrality into a supporting friendship.

So the key point to remember with persuasion is not to expect full scale conversions, and then get disappointed when they don’t happen.

Instead, think of persuasion as a gradual effort, a covert mission, in which you slowly change how a person thinks without them realizing you are influencing them.

Force your persuasion, or rush it, and you will reveal your intentions and your cover will be blown.

Some People Don’t Like To Change

One of the main reasons why people are resistant to change their thoughts is because of a psychological need to stay cognitively consistent.

This means that we need to have some degree of consistency between new information and our existing attitudes, beliefs and behaviors.

In other words, we like to experience things which we are already familiar with and consider as acceptable or appropriate for us as an individual.

If we hear a new message that clashes with our existing beliefs, we tend to either argue against it and reject it, or reinterpret it and accept it.

This occurs because the new information that clashes with our pre-existing beliefs, causes us psychological stress and anxiety.

stress persuasion

To get rid of these negative emotions, we process the message in a way that fits in with our existing beliefs.

For example, smoking is known to cause lung cancer and other diseases. However, many smokers still continue to smoke and modify this information so that it fits their existing beliefs. They do this in two ways:

1) Argue Against It, And Reject It

To overcome the psychological pain this message causes, a smoker may argue that other factors such as car exhaust pollution, or living in urban areas, is the real reason why people get diseases and not because they smoke.

They may then dispute the validity of any evidence which states smoking is harmful, and claim that it is somehow flawed.

Whatever the argument used, the smoker rejects the validity of the negative health implications and continues smoking.

2) Reinterpret The Message And Accept It

Many smokers may argue that it won’t be them who gets a disease from smoking, and they will “get away with it” suffering no negative consequences.

They may then list evidence to support their claim, such as by saying they eat healthy food and exercise, or pointing out that there are lots of elderly people who smoke and are still alive.

In this case, rather than accepting that smoking is bad for them, the person has chosen to reinterpret the message as meaning smoking is bad for other people and not for them.

Belief Systems And Persuasion 

These two psychological processes of interpreting information that conflicts with pre-existing belief systems is an important point to remember about persuasion.

You are more likely to persuade someone if what you are saying is reasonably similar to what they already believe in.

For example, you stand a greater chance of persuading a Catholic to donate money to a Catholic organization than a Satanic organization.

However when your persuasion attempt clashes with a persons beliefs they will either reject it completely and not listen to any evidence you provide, or reinterpret your message and accept it.

Matching Persuasion To Beliefs 

persuasion beliefsThe key to getting someone to reinterpret your message and accept it, is to state your message in a way that is somehow related or relevant to their existing beliefs.

For example, asking a Catholic to donate money to a Satanic organization because their son or daughter is a member.

Whatever technique you use, your aim should be to give the person you are trying to persuade a way of relieving the psychological pain caused by your statement, by allowing them to reinterpret it in a way that seems acceptable to their beliefs and values. 

For example, most people reading this would not intentionally kill another person. However, you would probably be much more willing to kill if you knew that by killing someone, you would prevent many more deaths.

In this example, whilst killing another person conflicts with your pre-existing beliefs (thereby causing you psychological pain and discomfort) by providing a way to relieve this discomfort (your action will save many innocent lives) you can be persuaded into doing something you normally would never do.

This type of thinking is often described as “the ends justifies the means” and is used all over the world to get people to do horrific acts that normally they would not do.

But remember, this can only be achieved by providing an escape from the psychological pain that action would normally cause.

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