Improving Verbal Communication Skills
- Your voice is a powerful instrument, so use it!
- Changing your voice can change the meaning of your message.
- Make sure you are clearly understand, and avoid miscommunication.
Now that you better understand the importance of the visual aspect of non verbal communication (body language), the next area to understand is the importance of your voice.
This includes 2 subsections; Vocal (how you sound) and Verbal (what you say).
The Importance Of Your Voice
Your voice is an extremely powerful communication tool. However many people overlook or neglect this form of communication by speaking in a flat, monotone and uninteresting voice.
By learning how to speak in a way that is both interesting and powerful, you will find that people not only pay more attention to what you say, but will also be more willing to do what you say. They will be captivated by your words, and eager to follow you.
Always remember, your voice communicates a lot more about you than the actual words you use. For example, if you nervously ask a girl out while your voice is trembling with fear, you will most likely be perceived as weak, nervous and fearful.
However, should you go up to her with a strong, masculine and commanding voice, you will be perceived as being strong and masculine.
Your voice can therefore act as a powerful indicator of your current emotional state.
People will react to this state, and treat you accordingly.
In this article, we are going to be taking a quick look at some tips on how you can improve your verbal communication skills, with the aim of communicating in a more authoritative and interesting way.
In a latter article, we will then look at improving your speech by examining the words you use.
Tips On How To Develop A Strong Commanding Voice
1 - Vary The Speed Of Your Voice
All successful speakers know the importance of varying the speed of their voice, or in other words, how quickly they talk.
Generally a good speaker tends to talk fast to excite and energize the listener, and slow when they want to create suspense and anticipation.
Talking at the same pace all the time can cause the listener to “shut off” and ignore what you are saying. This is because it all sounds the same, like a continuous drone of noise.
Continuous speaking can also tire the listener, because they will not have time to absorb and process what you are saying.
Speak Like An Action Movie!  Â
A good action movie will have lots of fact paced action, but it will also have slower scenes where the characters and plot are developed.
These pauses give the viewer a break from the action, whilst at the same time making future action scenes seem more intense.
Pauses also help to make the film more interesting, because even though most people like to see stuff get blown up, it gets boring after awhile if that’s all there is.
Should I Talk Slowly Or Quickly?
One common mistake people make is talking too slowly, or too quickly.
Slow speakers are generally perceived as being less intelligent, boring, tired or incompetent. Slow speakers also tend to waffle, going on forever about something, when a few words would have been sufficient.
Fast talkers are better than slow talkers, but only if they learn to pause, listen and have a 2 way conversation.
Studies show that people prefer listening to fast talkers, and that fast talkers are perceived as being more authoritative and interesting than slow speakers.
How Well Do You Know Your Subject?
You can often tell when someone knows a subject really well, because they will tend to talk about it very quickly.
If however someone doesn’t know much about a subject, or is uncertain about something, they tend to slow down so they have time to think.
In general, just remember that you can create interest in your message by varying the speed of your voice. Use a speed that is slightly faster than average, yet slow enough to follow easily.
You can then slow down occasionally to create suspense or anticipation of key points. If you can master this, you will have people hanging on your every word.
2 - Project Authority With A Low Pitch
Can you imagine Arnold Schwarzenegger saying “I’ll be back” with a camp, nasally and high pitched feminine voice whilst still sounding authoritative? No, neither can I!
High pitched voices are associated with femininity, weakness, submissive behavior, and in some cases, homosexuality.
A low pitched voice like Arnold Schwarzenegger is interpreted as authoritative, influential, domineering and powerful.
Low pitched deep voices command respect, and suggest a leadership quality about you.
If you are a male, try to lower the pitch of your voice to make it sound more masculine if it does not already. Many males have a very nasally voice, which makes them sound like they are speaking through their nose.
Women do not find this attractive, and prefer a deeper more soothing voice.
Here is a short clip of what can happen to males with a high pitched voice. Granted it is an extreme example, but you should get the point as to what I mean about high pitched voices.
Please note, I am not suggesting that you start speaking like Arnold with a thick Austrian accent. What I am suggesting, is that you try to project a more masculine and deeper sounding voice, if you currently have a high pitched voice.
Females And Voice PitchÂ
For females, a high pitched voice is fine, as most males are strongly attracted to feminine sounding women.
However if you are in a leadership position, generally you will find that people will listen to you more and take what you have to say more seriously, if you lower the pitch of your voice slightly.
This was the case with former British Primer Minster Margaret Thatcher, who took vocal training to lower her voice in order to sound more authoritative.
Vary The Pitch Of Your Voice
Just like varying the speed of your voice can make it sound more interesting, occasionally varying the pitch of your voice can have the same effect.
This is know as inflection, and can be used on certain words to give them a different meaning.
For example, take the sentence “I did not say I stole the money”.
Read this sentence aloud or say it in your head a few times, but each time stress a different word by changing the pitch of your voice using inflections, of which there are 2 types.
Downward Inflection
The first are called downward inflections, and occur when you lower the pitch of your voice (make it deeper) on a certain word(s). This communicate confidence, authority and certainty.
Upward Inflection
The second type of inflection is called an upward inflection, and occurs when you raise the pitch of your voice on a particular word(s). Upward inflections communicate surprise, doubt and uncertainty.
Try it now on this sentence: “I did not say I stole the money”
If you have done this exercise, you will find that using inflections has allowed you to alter the overall meaning of the sentence, simply by stressing a certain word.
Here are some examples:
“I did not say I stole the money”
- Leaves open the possibility you did the stealing.
“I did not say I stole the money”
- Implies you know who did steal the money.
“I did not say I stole the money”
- Makes it sound as if you did steal something, but not necessarily the money.
Inflection Video
The following video demonstrates voice inflections through a short story. Please note, this video is unnecessarily violent, and some people may find it shocking and offensive. Unfortunately it was the only video I could find that demonstrated voice inflections.
Same Sentence, Different MeaningsÂ
As you can see, inflections allow the same sentence to have many different meanings. This brings to light an extremely important point to recognize about communication.
If the meaning of your message can be altered simply by the way it is spoken, you must therefore always be careful to make sure the message you are speaking is the message the listener hears.
Often people will say something that sounds one way in their head, but when they say it out loud, the listener gets entirely the wrong idea.
Being aware of techniques such as inflections, will allow you to better communicate your message the way you intended, and avoid accidental miscommunication.
3 - Control The Loudness Of Your voice
To make an impact when speaking, you first need to be comfortably and easily heard. Too loud of a voice however, can annoy and irritate people.
Too soft a voice and not only can’t you be heard by others, but you will also convey timidity and a lack of authority.
You should therefore aim for a moderately loud voice to ensure you are clearly understood, and that your message is delivered powerfully.
Modulating VolumeÂ
Volume can also be modulated. This simply means raising or lowering the sound of your voice to stress certain words or phrases.
If you want to dramatize a moment, and make the listener really listen to what you are saying, try lowering the volume of your voice slightly.
This will cause the listener to concentrate more deeply on what you are saying, and is usually much more effective than raising your voice.
Shout It!Â
If you want to shock the listener, and make sure they understand a certain point, try raising your voice suddenly.Â
For example, “It was all going so well and then YOU BLEW IT!”
Used correctly, a raised voice can emphasize certain emotional states (in this example, frustration or anger), whilst also projecting a sense of dominance.
However, do not raise your voice too often, otherwise you will be seen as a rude and angry person. Rather, use it sparingly, and when you want to really emphasize a point (either positive or negative) to your listener.
4 - Sharpen Your Articulation
Nothing detracts more from the meaning of a message than speech which is mumbled and cannot be understood. Sloppy speech is also associated with poor education, laziness and nervousness.
If you want to be clearly understood, make sure you clearly articulate each sentence, phrase and word.
Clear crisp words convey confidence, competence and intelligence.
All factors needed to ensure people listen to what you say, and then understand it.
Less = More
In addition to speaking clearly, you should also speak concisely.
Never ramble on for longer than is needed, and answer the question that has been asked of you.
By speaking less you will also create a sense of mystery about you, which will stir up a desire in the listener to find out more. This in turn makes you appear as a more desirable and interesting person.
5 - Use Pauses For Impact
Bond…James Bond.
This famous line from the James Bond movies is perhaps the most well known use of pausing for impact, and something which most of us men have tried to emulate at some point in our lives!
Pauses Allow For Information ProcessingÂ
Pauses are important because they help to break up your speech, allowing information to sink in and be processed by the listener.
Pauses are also important for creating anticipation. Which means the other person can’t wait to hear what you have to say next.
When a listener is hanging on your every word, you can be sure that they value what you are saying and are giving you their full attention.
Pauses Create Anticipation
Pauses can also alert people to pay attention to a special point, as if you had just said “listen to this”. The key to successfully using pauses is to pause in front of the point you want to emphasize.
Generally speaking, a 1-3 second pause is sufficient to create anticipation in the listener. However do not overuse pauses, and make sure the point you are emphasizing is relatively important. Otherwise they will loose their effect.
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