Using The Law Of Reciprocation In Persuasion

• Reciprocation can make people feel obligated to repay you.
• Reciprocation can make people help you, even if they don’t like you!
• Use the law of reciprocation when negotiating.

Reciprocation is another technique which takes advantage of how the brain works. The basic principle involves giving something to somebody with the aim of creating a feeling of indebtedness within them, so that they will want to do something for you in return.

A good example of this can be seen with Hare Krishna devotees during the 1960s. These devotees attempted to collect donations from the public by asking for money to support their organisation.

However this method was largely unsuccessful, and people soon began to regard Hare Krishna’s as a nuisance.

It was not until the Hare Krishna’s changed their approach, that they finally began to raise money. In fact they raised so much money, they soon built a global network of temples and communes.

How did they do it?

By using the law of reciprocation!

Rather than ask a person for money straight away, they would first give a flower as a “gift”. Only then would they ask for a donation.

By doing this, they created a feeling indebtedness which the person felt obligated to repay.

Today this technique is used by many charities, and even shops. For example, you may receive “free gifts” in the mail, such as a pen, calendar, toy or sample.

All of these gifts are not given as acts of kindness, but instead given to evoke a response in you to feel obligated to repay that gift by purchasing their products or donating money.

Reciprocation And Bad Behaviour

The reciprocation rule is so powerful that it can even make us accept requests from people we dislike. This was shown by one experiment where two people were asked to sell raffle tickets to their colleagues.  

Before attempting to sell any tickets, one person deliberately tried to make himself more likable by being kind and considerate to others.

In contrast, the second person deliberately tried to make himself unlikable by being rude and inconsiderate to others, but later on bought everyone a drink.

When it came to selling the tickets, the experimenters found that the rude person who had exploited the reciprocation rule by buying his colleagues a drink, sold twice as many tickets as the person who had deliberately tried to be nice.

What this means is that even though someone may dislike you, by giving them a small gift or favour prior to making your request, you can vastly increase the chances of them doing what you ask.

So the key thing to remember is to make the person you are trying to persuade, feel as though you have given up something just for them. They will then feel obligated to give something up for you.

Negotiation

When it comes to negotiations the law of reciprocation can be extremely useful. One common technique is to make a demand which is greater than what you actually want.

The next step is to make a small concession, whereby you lower your demands, and then wait for the other person to lower their demands.

This can be used in negotiations to make it appear as if you are giving something up, with the purpose of making another person also give something up. In effect you are evoking the law of reciprocation, to make them feel obligated to lower their demands.

You may find unscrupulous car salesmen using this tactic, whereby they give you a reduction off an already inflated price, to make it seem as though you are getting a good discount and deal.

Rejection Then Retreat

This technique involves making two requests, with the intention of getting one request purposefully rejected in order to make the other request seem more desirable.

To show the effectiveness of this technique, an experiment was done with students at a local blood bank. One group of students were asked if they would mind giving one pint of blood the follow day.

The second group of students were asked if they would mind giving one pint of blood every 6 weeks for the next 3 years.

When the students in the second group rejected this extreme request, the students were then asked if they would mind giving a single pint of blood sometime tomorrow.

The researchers found that those in the second group who were given the extreme request, were far more likely to come in the next day to give blood. They concluded that the reason this technique worked so well was due to two main reasons:

1 - The first extreme request sets up a contrast effect. This makes the second request (giving a single pint of blood) seem much more reasonable and acceptable than the first request (giving a pint of blood every 6 weeks for the next 3 years).

2 - By withdrawing the first request you trigger the reciprocation rule, making the person feel obligated to agree to the second request. This is interesting because in reality you have no obligation to either request, but you are being made to feel as if you do.

It is important to note that this technique will only work when your initial request is seen as reasonable and realistic. If it is too extreme then the tactic can backfire, since it will lack credibility and any concessions you make will not be seen as genuine.

So when using this technique make sure you establish some initial credibility to make your offer seem more believable. As you want them to think you are genuinely giving something up.