How To Learn From Failure And Success
- There is so much information about success, yet people still fail to achieve it.
- People fail due to bad habits and bad habits die hard!
- Identify your bad habits and why they are causing you to fail.
The Information Age
We live in an age of abundance. Thanks to the Internet, we can now browse the minds of thousands of people with the click of a mouse, instantly.
There are also thousands of books written about success, and self help books are amongst the best sellers in the bookshops.
Yet the people who read these books continue to live below their potential and achieve far less than they are capable of.
Why Do People Fail?
One of the most common answers given when a person is asked why they failed, is that failure was due to some external factor which prevented them from achieving their goal.
However by studying successful people we can see that for every difficulty they faced, there were many more who faced far greater difficulties and still managed to succeed.
This shows that just like success, failure begins within us, and has more to do with our thoughts and actions than the difficulties we face.
Habits Make People Fail Or Succeed
A habit is defined as a pattern of behaviour that is followed regularly until it becomes automatic. If you think about it, virtually everything we do is dictated by habit.
We eat the same foods, work in the same way, associate with the same people, say the same things and act the same way. In other words we do things we are comfortable with and we keep doing them.
People Become Comfortable With Habits Of Failure
The trouble with habits is that when we do the same thing over and over again what happens? We get the same result over and over again!
In fact people become so comfortable with their habits, that they will continue to do them even if that habit isn’t doing them any good. This is called a bad habit, and it’s one of the major reasons why so many people fail in life.
Take smoking for example. Smoking is a bad habit that harms your health, yet people still smoke. They have developed a habit and with that habit comes a comfort zone.
As long as they maintain their habit and the comfort it gives them, they will resist change even if it is beneficial for them. I know, I used to smoke.
People Continue To Fail Because Bad Habits Die Hard!Â
As I said in the beginning of this article, we live in an age of abundance. Everything we could possibly want is available to us and we want it now, right now.
This is why breaking bad habits are so difficult. They provide us with a familiar comfortable routine and breaking the habit means delaying the comfort we receive from it, until we can replace it with something else. This transition period is when most people fail.
What Bad Habits Are Causing You To Fail?
In order to experience a beneficial change in ones life, it is first necessary to change your thoughts and actions so that new success forming habits can begin to develop.
This means identifying your own bad habits, examining them, and understanding why you do them.
Kim,
I need help. My life is spiraling out of control. The only thing I have control over now is that I get up and go to work Monday through Friday. That does not mean that when I get there that I work to 100% I’d rate myself at 15%. My projects are falling apart in front of me. My clients are asking me why things are always rushed. I don’t network when I should and when it comes to getting more people to sign-up for things, nobody knows about them cause I’ve done nothing!
About a year ago this time I contractually agreed to do a children’s book for free. After the book is published I would get 10% of every book sale. I said I would have it done by August. I had agreed that in 4 to 5 months I would have produced over 40 illustrations. It’s a year later, way past the deadline, and I think I have 12 illustrations done. The people around me were so excited about my book and now they ask me how the book is going and I’m embarrassed. During New Years I called the author and said that I was serious that I was doing this now and that it would be done by April. She said to just have fun with it and when its done its done. I’ve done nothing! What is wrong with me? My integrity is absolutely shot! I’m not kidding, I disappoint everyone around me everyday and I put up this brick wall to pretend that I didn’t just do that. When I was in art school I was top 10 in my class of 250 students. I was amazing, competitive, and outgoing. Last year I believed in that person that I once was and said I could do this absurd amount of work over a short period of time. I want nothing to do with this book now. I want to call the lady up and say that I don’t want this anymore. One I’m under a contract and two I would be quitting, and who’s to say that if I do that, the next time something comes up if I can’t handle it I’ll just quit? I’m telling myself I won’t do that. That I would give myself a year and some to complete another book. And I hopefully would be paid to do it.
My body is a mess. Since college I have gained 50 pounds. Once I got a spark of enthusiasm, and I hit the gym running. I lost 10 pounds. I did this because I bought my wedding dress a size smaller than I was at the time of purchase. If I didn’t fit into it I would not be wearing a very expensive dress to my wedding that my husband freaked out on the price. I have tried to pull that want and desire back into my life with the gym. I’ve tried rewards for every 5 pounds that I could loose, but I would just go out and buy what I wanted before I reached my goal or get discouraged. If my body didn’t loose 5 pounds in one week I’d sink into a pit of self-pity and go to a burger joint and get the biggest burger and fries and down it in 5 minutes.
My house, I can’t control it. My husband doesn’t pick up after himself and neither do I. I woke up one day and said “hey whatever I use I’m going to put it back!” I was doing pretty good too. I could actually maintain the house. But then my husband comes in and makes some huge meal, uses every pot in the house, and leaves everything in the sink. Don’t think I haven’t asked him to pick up, I have. But it’s always the same answer, “later, or tomorrow” and it has a 10% chance of getting done.
I haven’t touched my husband in probably three months. I’m sure you know what kind of atmosphere that can create.
I told my mom I would have this book done by April when my aunt and uncle came down to visit. I swore on it. I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m sure baby steps of some sort are required but my mound of shit is huge and I’m suffocating myself.
At this point, I’m not sure if my life can change. I’m tired of crying. I don’t know what to do. My integrity is gone! I’m letting people done all around me. And I’ve only skimmed the surface on my pile of shit life.
Hello Jenn;
After reading your situation I have come to conclude that you might be suffering from chronic stress and post traumatic symptoms. This is also called as a silent grief effect. I am not really sure about it but this is what your story has suggested to me.
I think that you may have a great difficulty in concentrating and getting attentive. Your thoughts are also indicating that you may start things with enthusiasm but then eventually or suddenly loose your interest in them and this is how many of your assignments are mostly on waiting list.
The fact is this that you may not cope with this situation at this stage yourself. Although motivation could play a crucial role but this is more properly a time for some depression and stress workout sessions with a practicing psychologist. I would recommend you to also visit some homeopathic doctor in your area as the homeopathic treatments are very effective for coping with chronic stress & obesity.
Your signs indicate that there had been a situation in your life or several little situations which now have contributed to elevate the level of stress and also causing you to fall short of average efficiency level. This may be the case of Psychological fatigue.
What you can do personally, in addition to visiting a psychologist and a homeopathic doctor, is making and writing a list of grieves you currently have. Write down on a paper that which people or events are again and again causing you to be depressed, even if it includes waking up in the morning and going on work.
Then break it into two categories, one of major and one of minor. For the minor causes, write down in your own handwriting that I will deal with these issues once I have dealt with major ones. Then for the major causes, circle any three of them which you feel are of high priority and then discuss with some of your close friend, husband or any other person whom you can trust. Listen to their advice carefully and make sure you act on it if you feel it acceptable. I also have written an article today “Dealing with Disappointment”. Please read it thoroughly once it is published.
In the mean time, don’t delay visiting a practicing psychologist and make sure you take the list of major and minor causes along yourself and as for the book, for the time being leave this project and I am sure that after a few visits to a psychologist you would be able to write it again with more and proper efficiency. If you would like to ask any questions, feel free to post here and I would reply you accordingly.
Thanks
Kim
Martin,
I agree with you that it is important to identify bad habits and then find out the reasons that are causing to fail. In some other articles, i read that it is not good to dwell in past mistakes but I do think sometimes, we need to think about the mistakes and the reasons behind it. Because otherwise, we’d do the same mistake over and over.