Listening To The Message Of Sadness
How To Overcome Sadness
- Sadness comes from losing something or someone important to you.
- Ignoring your sadness has many negative consequences.
- Overcome your sadness by fulfilling your needs.
People have a natural tendency to hold onto other people or things which are important to them, because these people or things fulfil their needs, wants and desires.
When these people or things remain stable in our life, we feel comfortable and safe because our life feels enriched and fulfilled.
However should circumstances suddenly change and we lose these important people or things, the needs, wants and desires that were once being fulfilled, are now no longer so.
As a result, this loss causes us pain, which subsequently leads to the feeling of sadness.
If you have been following these articles from the start, then you can probably already guess the message sadness is trying to tell us.
Sadness reveals to us that we have lost something which is important in our lives, and so we must take some kind of action in order to get back what we lost, or replace it.
This action comes from the motivational energy sadness gives you, which if used correctly, will enable you to overcome your sadness.
The Effects Of Sadness
If sadness comes as a result of loosing something or someone important to you, then the death of a loved one will surely result in the most emotionally painful form of sadness.
When we lose someone close to us, we also lose the things they did for us. Therefore loosing them also results in loosing the needs, wants and desires they once helped to fulfil.
The sadness we experience as a result of this loss is designed to motivate us into finding new way to fulfil our needs, because if they are left unfulfilled, the rest of our life is going to be negatively affected.
For example, a person who ignores their feelings of sadness, or is not aware of the message it brings, may develop a chronic form of sadness that can last months, years or even for the result of their life.
How this sadness affects you will vary from person to person, although chronic sadness (such as that resulting from the death of a loved one) commonly leads things such as addictions to dangerous distracters (alcohol, drugs, food etc...), social withdrawal and isolation, martial breakdowns, depression and suicide.
As you can see the consequences of ignoring your sadness can be extremely severe, which is why it is important to deal with it as soon as possible.
Dealing With Sadness
Use the following guidelines to help you deal with the feeling of sadness and respond appropriately to it.
1 – Identify Sadness
Sadness comes as a result of loosing someone or something which is important to you.
2 – Remember The Meaning Of Sadness
The message sadness tells you is that the loss you have experienced has resulted in some of your needs, wants or desires no longer being fulfilled. Sadness is motivational energy which is trying to help you fulfil these needs again.
3 – Decide Why You Are Feeling Sad
What have you lost in your life that is important to you? Why was it important? What needs, wants or desires did that person or thing fulfil? What did it/they do for you?
4 – Remove Your Feeling Of Sadness
The first step in overcoming your sadness is to examine how you currently view your loss.
Have you really lost something or someone for good? Or is it possible that you will be reunited with them again sometime in the future?
For example, if you believe in life after death then the loss of a loved is no longer a permanent loss, but rather a temporary loss until you are both together again.
This hope of regaining what you have lost can help you to overcome your sadness and move onto grief, without your life being adversely affected by chronic sadness.
So whenever you are feeling sad, always remember to examine your perspective of it first. As if there is hope of regaining what you have lost, you will be able to minimise the sadness you feel.
Try To Get Back What You Lost
If there is some chance you can get back what you lost, try to do something to get it back.
For example, if you have lost somebody’s friendship because of something you did, try to do something to make up for it.
There is no guarantee you will get it back, but if you don’t at least try, then you know for certain you won’t.
If you Can’t Get Back What You Lost
If you are unable to get back what you lost, then you need to find a replacement for it.
Replacing People
If your loss is to do with a close family member, then it is important to understand that people like this cannot simply be replaced the way we replace lost items by buying a new one.
As a result, you may feel this loss for the rest of your life whenever something triggers a memory of that person.
However you can still take action to fulfil your needs by forming new relationships with other people. For example, finding someone to talk with, go shopping with or play sports with.
By bringing new people into your life to replace the person you lost, you will satisfy your unfulfilled needs that came from your loss, thereby preventing sadness from negatively affecting your life.
Replacing Things
Fortunately things are a lot easier to replace than people, so if you have lost something important to you, your first step should be to try and get it back.
For things that you can’t get back (because they were one of a kind), try to be thankful for what you still have.
Usually it’s not until we lose something important to us, that we realise how much we took it for granted. This then causes us to become more grateful for the things we still have.
Another way to deal with loosing something of importance, is to try and see what good came from the situation.
Sometimes when we think something really bad has happened to us, something good happens as a result of it. If you are able to see the benefit from your loss, the sadness you experience will be greatly diminished.
Time To Grieve
When there is nothing you can do to get back what you lost, allow yourself time to grieve before moving on.
To help you during the grieving process, try to make note each day of the people or things still in your life for which you are grateful for.
Once you start actively looking at your life, you may start to rediscover all the things you once took for granted.
Summary
Sadness comes as a result of loosing something important in your life, and the needs which were fulfilled by it. If you ignore sadness these needs will remain unfulfilled and your life will suffer as a result.
Listen to sadness by finding a way to satisfy your needs again. This can be done by getting back what you lost, or replacing it.
Overall just remember that sadness is a natural part of life, and you cannot control or predict when you are going to feel sad. The only thing you can control is how you let that sadness affect your life.
