Self Control During Negotiations

As a negotiator there will be times during a negotiation where you need to pause and step back from the situation.

These will usually be times when you are negotiating with someone and reach an emotionally charged subject where things start to get heated. If you are not careful, situations like this could rapidly spiral out of control.

The ability to step back from a heated negotiation, or even a heated discussion, is known as your “pause button”. Some people are able to use it more than others, whilst some people don’t even use it all.

There are many ways the pause button can be used during negotiations. For example, you may decide to have a break during an intense negotiation process, or you may simply choose to exercise silence should someone you are trying to negotiate with says something offensive, or something with which you do not agree.

How well you are able to use your pause button during a negotiation really comes down to your level of self control. The more self control you have the more you will use it, and the more successful you will be as a negotiator.

Why You Need Self Control When Negotiating

The ability to control your emotions is an invaluable negotiating skill, because if you can’t control yourself and the way you respond to others, you are likely to end up saying something you later regret.

For example, you may get angry at another person, shout at them, insult them or even walk out of a negotiation. None of these actions are traits of a successful negotiator, and will not do you any favours when negotiating with someone.

Using your pause button when you are trying to negotiate with someone also has other benefits. For if you are able to pause before you reply to a question, you will give yourself time to access the situation and come up with the best possible response.

Many people make the mistake when negotiating to blurt out the first thing that comes into their mind, which in most cases, could have been communicated in a much more effective manner.

Not being able to pause during negotiations can even result in you agreeing to deals too quickly, and then later realising you got the short end of the stick.

In fact getting another person emotionally charged is a very effective negotiation strategy for this very reason. As it literally causes people to bypass their logical thinking brain and respond in an irrational way.

Control Your Emotions When You Negotiate

There is no doubt about it, if you want to be a successful negotiator you must learn how to control your emotions and respond in a cool and calm manner when you are in an intense negotiation.

To help speed up this process, think about what your hot buttons are. What makes you angry? What causes you to loose your temper? What causes you to feel afraid?

Being aware of your hot buttons will allow you to become a more controlled person when you negotiate with others, which ultimately will lead to more effective negotiations on your behalf.

In addition to this, it will prevent other negotiators from discovering your hot buttons, and then trying to press them for their advantage during the negotiation process.

To further help you discover your emotional triggers, ask people who are close to you for their opinion. Then use this feedback to improve your emotional negotiation skills.