Self Esteem And Self Acceptance

• In order to reach your true potential you need to fully accept yourself.
• A lack of self acceptance comes from limiting subconscious beliefs.
• Self improvement is a constant battle between the subconscious and conscious.

In this article we are going to be taking a look at self acceptance, self esteem and how beliefs in the subconscious mind affect them (if you are looking for more information on self esteem, please see the “personal development” section).

Why is this important? Because if you have the wrong beliefs programmed into your mind, no matter what self improvement you try to do it will never stick, because the subconscious will reject it.

It is only by learning to accept yourself and improving your level of self esteem, will you create a mind that is ready and willing to permanently accept the improvements you are trying to make in your life.

If you have tried to make improvements in your life before, but nothing ever seemed to stick, now you know why. Your subconscious mind rejected the improvements, because they were inconsistent with the beliefs your subconscious already had.

So lets now begin by looking at the differences between these two intimately related ideas, self acceptance and self esteem. Later we shall explore the role of the subconscious, and how it shapes your life.

The Difference Between Self Esteem And Self Acceptance

Your level of self esteem is determined by how you feel about yourself, and what you believe you are capable of doing or becoming. Self esteem is therefore something you experience, it is a feeling and a belief.

Although self acceptance is very similar to self esteem, it differs in that self acceptance is something you do. To be self accepting is to be on your own side, to be for yourself, to love yourself.

In its most fundamental sense, self acceptance means recognizing your value as a person (self worth) and being happy being the person you are, regardless of your faults or weaknesses.

In this sense, self acceptance is much more primitive than self esteem, and is basically an act of self affirmation. Self acceptance could therefore be viewed as a natural kind of egotism, one that is the birthright of every human being.

Without Self Acceptance, Self Improvement Will Not Stick

Without self acceptance, it is virtually impossible for a person to grow and reach their maximum potential in life.

Without being able to accept yourself, and love yourself for the person you are, it is very unlikely that any self improvement you try to incorporate into your life will have any lasting affect.

As a result, no matter how hard you try to improve yourself, and change your life for the better, you will always seem to be stuck in the past, never being able to advance forward.

Why Is Self Acceptance So Important?

Your level of self acceptance is a reflection of beliefs that have been programmed into your subconscious mind throughout your entire life. Most of these beliefs were created during your childhood, teenage and early adult life.

A lack of self acceptance stems from a belief that you are unworthy of achieving success or happiness. It is a belief that you can’t do or experience something, because of something about yourself which you believe prevents you from doing or experiencing it.

With this belief programmed into your mind, your subconscious will then act out this limiting belief system by preventing you from obtaining the thing you consciously wanted. It does this by rejecting any new information that goes against the original belief.

For example, suppose John is overweight. John has a belief that being overweight means he is unattractive, which means no woman would want to be with him.

As a result, whenever he is around women he has a voice inside his head which tells him “they would never fancy me, I’m too fat” and so John never even attempts to pursue women romantically, even though one of his friends told him a girl thought he was cute.

Because John lacks self acceptance, he believes that his physical appearance prevents him from having any success with women.

Even though his friend told him that a girl thought he was cute, his subconscious mind rejected this new information because it clashed with his existing belief that being overweight means being unattractive.

Peter on the other hand is also overweight, but he doesn’t believe being overweight makes him unattractive. He accepts that whilst he may not have a ripped 6 pack, this doesn’t necessarily mean that no woman will find him attractive.

Peter is comfortable with his body, and isn’t afraid to go after the women he likes. How does Peter do with women? He may get a few rejections, but he also has his successes too!

The difference between John and Peter is that John lacks self acceptance, and by doing so automatically accepts and reinforces the limiting negative beliefs that have been programed into his subconscious.

Unlike John however, Peter accepts himself for the person he is and as a result isn’t afraid to try his luck with women.

How Sticky Is Your Mind?

A mind that lacks self acceptance is like a non stick frying pan. You can put things into the frying pan, and even cook with it, but ultimately whatever you put in will not stick and is easily removed.

In the same way, a lack of self acceptance and the subconscious processes that fuel it, will allow you to absorb new information into your mind, use it for awhile, but ultimately shake it off, loose what you learnt and then go back to your old limiting beliefs.

This leaves you exactly where you first began, and so in the long term no real progress is made.

The important point to remember here is that through a lack of self acceptance, you only strengthen the negative limiting beliefs that dwell inside your subconscious mind.

By fully accepting yourself you do not automatically make these limiting beliefs go away, but rather you stop reinforcing them, thereby making them weaker and weaker over time until they eventually die out.

All beliefs in the mind, whether good or bad, need attention to grow. Just like a plant in a garden. If you neglect it, the plant will die. This is how beliefs work in the garden of your subconscious.

Every belief you have you either reinforce or weaken through your thoughts and actions. A lack of self acceptance is just one of the ways people strengthen their limiting beliefs.

The Battle For Your Subconscious

Because limiting beliefs do not immediately go away, but rather gradually weaken over time, self improvement is initially a battle between the conscious and subconscious mind.

Consciously you may be trying to improve your life with new techniques and methods, but if you have a “non stick mind” (and therefore are lacking self acceptance) then your subconscious will constantly be trying to tell your conscious mind that things are not working, they are not happening quick enough and that you should give up.

This occurs because there is an imbalance of opposing beliefs. Whilst you are trying to plant a new belief in the garden of your subconscious, your old belief is still there and still trying to influence you.

Because the new belief you have planted is still young and weak, you will have to fight off that old belief until your new belief becomes stronger, and your old belief fades away.

It is during this time that the new belief you have planted is most vulnerable. If you do give up and go back to your old way of thinking, acting or doing, then the old subconscious belief wins, which further reinforces it and makes it stronger. This then makes future battles that much more difficult.

This is precisely why persistence (the ability to keep going no matter what happens) and self discipline (the ability to do what you know you should do, whether you feel like it or not) are so important.

Return Of The Conscious Mind        

Should the conscious mind persist and obtain victory, then the subconscious mind is forced to re-examine and change its initial belief, thereby incorporating your new belief.

This then makes future battles with the subconscious that much easier, until eventually it is completely reprogrammed with the beliefs you want it to have.

Simultaneously this will also strengthen your level of persistence and self discipline, which again makes future battles with the subconscious that much easier.

A Battle Between 2 Minds In The Same Mind

So in closing, just remember that self improvement is a constant battle between programmed beliefs in the subconscious mind, and desired beliefs in the conscious mind.

Subconscious beliefs are always going to be much stronger than those in the conscious mind, and so battles against the subconscious will be very difficult.

However this does not mean they cannot be won. So if you are defeated get up and try again, because eventually the subconscious will give in.

The job of your conscious mind is to implant the best beliefs into your subconscious, then hold your ground until that new belief has had time to establish itself and the old belief has dies away.

Once your new belief has been established remember to reinforce it with your thoughts and actions, otherwise it to may fade away.

Part 1 | 3

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