Selfishness And Confidence

People who lack self esteem and self confidence tend to put the needs of others ahead of their own.

They do this largely because they want to gain acceptance from others, and think that the more they sacrifice their own needs and wants the more people will like them.

When you start becoming a more confident person you will notice a reverse in this type of behaviour. Instead of thinking about what other people want, you start thinking more about what you want.

If you currently have low self confidence or low self esteem, then what I just said probably sounds like a very selfish person, a person who puts their own needs first ahead of the needs of others.

Why Being Selfish Is A Good Thing

Being selfish doesn’t necessarily make you a bad person, but instead will help you to achieve the things you want out of life and care for those who are close to you.

If you are not selfish the opposite will happen. You won’t get what you want out of life, and people will take advantage of you for their own gain.

The reason for this is simple. If you don’t put yourself first you will always come second, which automatically implies you are worth less and deserve less than others.

This is certainly not an attitude that will help to improve your self esteem or your self confidence, which is why it is important you get rid of the belief that putting yourself first is somehow bad.

If being selfish is still an issue for you, think about how being unselfish has served you so far? Probably not very well, otherwise you wouldn’t be reading this article.

So from now on I want you to start putting your needs first ahead of the needs of others, because if you don’t do this, you won’t be able to build up your self confidence to a high level.

What Do You Really Want?

Take the time now to think about what is really important to you in your life. Is it your partner? Your family? Your career? Or your health?

Whatever you decide upon, use these areas to start building up your confidence, because becoming good at something which is important to you is one of the best ways of improving your self confidence.

Becoming Your True Self

Being confident is basically just recognising the things you are good at, and then expanding that confidence into other areas of your life by becoming good at other things.

Self confidence is therefore a process by which you become your true self. It enables you to discover who you really are and what you are really capable of, and the more you do this the more confident of a person you will become.

Why People Lack Self Confidence

Many people lack confidence because they simply don’t understand what it means, and think that confidence is just something you either have or you don’t.

Nobody is born with confidence, it is something we all learn and the way we learn it is through experience and by trying things and practicing them until we become good at it.

In this sense confidence is just like riding a bike. At first you are not very good and so your confidence is low. But the more you practice the better your riding skills become and the more confident you become.

Comparing Yourself To Others

Another reason why people lack self confidence is because they are constantly comparing themselves to other people.

For example, they may look at someone and think they will never be as good as them, and so they lack confidence because the comparison has made them feel inferior.

Try to avoid doing this because it is a great way to destroy your confidence. Of course you can use other people as a source of inspiration, but don’t beat yourself up just because someone has something you don’t.

In all likelihood they had to work for it or learn how to do it, which in most cases you could also do if you committed yourself to it.

Decide To Become A Confident Person

The bottom line message of this article is that if you want to change yourself, you must be the change you want to see.

This means putting yourself and your needs first, so that you can start to unravel your true self and see the person you know you are deep inside.