Sexual Guilt

• Religion is a major cause of sexual guilt.
• Women are more likely than men to feel guilty about sex.
• Most men will overestimate the number of relationships they have had.

Sexual guilt is most commonly the result of religious beliefs or teachings.  Depending on your religion, you may have been told what forms of sex are “good” or “bad” in a relationship and when you are able to have sex.

For example, most religions classify homosexual relationships as bad or “sinful”.  Therefore a homosexual person who is in a relationship with someone (and is also religious), is likely to feel guilty and/or ashamed about their sexuality.

However homosexuals should not feel any guiltier than heterosexuals, as they are simply living by what they regard to be good or bad (their own moral code).

Once you start letting outside authority figures such as religion do this for you, you make yourself vulnerable to experiencing guilt whenever you don’t do along with the “party line”.

Sexual Relationships

When it comes to sexual partners, there is an interesting oppositional divide between the different sexes and the labels they use.

Male Relationships & Sexual Guilt

For most men, sex with as many people as possible is labelled as being good. Any man who sleeps with lots of women is generally viewed by other males as being a high status dominant alpha man.

Since more sex and relationships equals good for the male (label) men will willingly engage in sexual activities with women, and openly talk (sometimes boast) about the women they have, or are, sleeping with. As a result, most men do not feel guilty about having sex with women.

For those males who do feel guilty about sex, it is generally due to religious beliefs, or beliefs imposed upon them by their parents.

In order to overcome this guilt, they must decide whose moral code they wish to live by, and then change their actions according to that code so that they can form guilt free relationships with people.

Female Relationships & Sexual Guilt

If we examine the socially imposed label on women, we see an opposite message. Women who sleep with lots of men or who have lots of relationships with men equals bad, and the more men they sleep with the “badder” they are.

As a result of this label most women tend to be more cautious about having relationships and sex with another man, and when they do have sex, they will not boast about their “past conquests” afterwards to their friends.

Of course they may talk about sex, but will generally do so in a more conservative manner than males.

Number Of Sexual Relationships

If a woman is asked how many people she has slept with, she will usually give a number that is far lower than the actual amount.

This can be compared to the male, who will usually give a number that is far greater than the actual amount.

If you have seen the film American Pie, then you know what I’m talking about. When a women gives a number multiple it by three. When a man gives a number, divide it by three!

The result of the sexual label applied to women, is that they are far more likely than men to experience sexual guilt when they are in a relationship with someone.

This is simply because their actions are conflicting with an externally imposed societal label, which then results in guilt.

The amount of guilt a women experiences in a relationship is largely dependant on her own moral code.

For example, if a woman believes she can have sex with whomever she wants, but her religion tells her she should not have sex until she is in a committed relationship (such as marriage), she is likely to experience less guilt after having sex than if she also believed she should not have sex until she is married.

In the later example, her actions broke both her own moral code and the moral code imposed upon her from society, resulting in the most severe form of guilt. This guilt may then cause her to question the relationship she is in, or even end that relationship completely.

You know when you have broken both moral codes because you will probably say or think something like “Oh my God! I can’t believe I did that!”