How To Find Out What To Do In Life
- To be successful at something you need to be really good at it.
- It is important to do something you enjoy doing.
- Commit to being the best in your chosen field.
- It takes time to discover your life purpose.
You may already be familiar with the 80/20 rule, but in case your not, it states that 80% of your results come from 20% of your activities.
In sales this can be found as 80% of the sales coming from 20% of the sales people, or in business, as 80% of the market share belonging to 20% of all the competing companies.
The 80/20 rule shows that in order to be successful, you must be extremely good at what you do. As it is only a small fraction of the total number of competitors, who ultimately get the majority of the rewards.
A Commitment To Excellence
People who reach the top 20% make a conscious effort to do so. They decide they want to be the best, and then commit themselves to achieving excellence in their field.
Whatever it takes to be successful, and whatever price they must pay to achieve it, they will do what they need to do, when they need to do it, whether they like it or not.
This may sound like an obvious thing to do, but ask yourself, have you committed yourself to being the best? Are you willing to do whatever it takes to get what you want? Are you willing to make some big sacrifices?
For most people, the answer is no.
The Importance Of Committing To Be The Very Best
For those who do not consciously commit themselves to becoming excellent in their field, automatically and subconsciously commit themselves to a life of mediocrity in the bottom 80%.
Without a commitment to becoming the best, you will always perform at low levels and never achieve your true potential.
As a result, your self worth and self esteem will likely fall, resulting in feelings of unhappiness, depression and a lack of fulfillment in life. Is that the kind of life you want to live?
How To Get Into The Top 20%
In order to become truly successful at something, you must first enjoy what you do. This means that if you are currently doing something you do not enjoy, it is highly unlikely you will reach the top 20%.
How To Find Your Life Purpose
For many people, finding out what their life purpose is can be one of the most difficult things they ever do.
They may have the drive, passion and desire to get into the top 20%, but because they do not know what they want to be successful at, what their life purpose is, they never get there.
If you are struggling to discover what you life purpose is, start by asking yourself the following question:
- If you won the lottery what job would you do?
This is an extremely important question to ask, as most people decide upon a job with money as their primary concern. However later they may find they do not enjoy their job, and so fail to become truly successful at it.
Money certainly can make a job you do not enjoy bearable, especially if you do not have much money to begin with. However you will often find, as many people do, that money isn’t everything.
Over time the job will become more and more unbearable, and the money will seem less and less attractive. It is at this point when people must decide whether they want to live their life doing something they enjoy, or continue living a miserable, stressful and unfulfilling life doing something they absolutely hate.
So when you are in the process of finding your life purpose, do not make your decision based on money.
Still Struggling To Find Your Life Purpose?
Nobody can tell you what your life purpose is. Finding your life purpose is different for everyone, and something only you can discover for yourself.
So if you are still struggling to find your life purpose, here is an exercise that is designed to ask your subconscious mind for the answer.
Finding Your Life Purpose Exercise
Get a sheet of paper, and on the top write “what is my life purpose?” or “what am I meant to do in my life?”.
Now write down 20 answers to that question. Make sure you write down whatever comes into your mind, no matter how silly it may seem.
Relax whilst you do this, as ideas will flow from the subconscious much easier when you are in a relaxed state of mind.
You will probably find the first few answers come easily, but as you get past 10 answers, it will become harder and harder.
These later answers will often be the most valuable, as they will be coming from your subconscious mind.
An important point to remember when doing this exercise is that in order for it to be effective, it must be done in one sitting. So make sure you set some time aside, so that you can come up with 20 answers to your question.
If you find 20 answers easy to come up with, increase the number to 30. Ideally you should find the last 5-10 answers difficult to come up with, so adjust your total amount accordingly.
After you have completed the exercise do not look at what you have written. Put it away, and then look at it the following day.
Do you see anything that could be your purpose in life? Is there anything that if you knew you would definitely be successful at, you would do it? If not, keep repeating this exercise until you do.
Eventually, because your mind has been thinking about and trying to answer this question for so long, the answer will come to you.
Often it will be when you least expect it, as the mind is most productive when it is relaxed and not stressed with worry.
An additional tip is to think about this question just before you sleep. The answer may come to you in a dream, or the following morning. Persistence is the key!
Be Successful At Something You Love To Do!
When selecting a job with enjoyment as your primary concern, you may not start out with lots of money. But because it is something you enjoy, eventually you will become very successful at it.
As we have already seen, people who are successful in their field get 80% of the rewards. However please do not confuse the meaning of success with earning lots of money.
For some people that may be the definition of success, for others, it may mean something entirely different. It is therefore up to you to decide upon what you most enjoy doing in life, and how you define the success that will come from it.
Study, Study, Study!
When I was younger I used to think that the only time I needed to learn something was at school, boy was I wrong! I now realise that life is all about learning, without it you cannot grow.
In order to reach the top of your chosen field, you must therefore commit yourself to learning as much as you possibly can about it. And that means reading!
Since most people do not read, by spending at least 1 hour every day reading about your subject, you will quickly rise to the top. If you don’t like reading you can always watch TV instead, as long as you don’t mind being in the bottom 80%!
Review Your Actions
It is good practice to get into a daily or weekly habit of reviewing your actions. By reviewing the things you did right, and the things you would do differently, you slowly begin to programme it into your subconscious mind.
As a result, the next time you are faced with a similar challenge, you will automatically respond in the best and most appropriate way.
However a word of warning, do not focus solely on the mistakes you made or the things you did wrong. If you do so, you will programme this into the subconscious and repeat the same mistakes!
Final Thoughts
Very few people commit to being the best. Those who do commit themselves to excellence, do so in a field of interest they truly enjoy and are passionate about.
They believe what they are doing is important, and actively work each day to better themselves. Whatever it takes to achieve their objective they will do, whether they feel like it or not.
So once you have decided what you want to become a success at, commit yourself to becoming excellent at it. Keep moving towards your goal and never consider the possibility of failure.
If you can apply this principle to every aspect of your life, you will be a success no matter what you do.
Hey thx for the nice article, more like a nice reminder…
Cheers!
A very interesting definition of purpose; deffinitely would keep you motivated if you have a desire for a specific career. I’ll apply this to my life because I currently am pursuing a career in web development and am intern-ing for a web and video production company. The only question I have is, Is career or success the only purpose of life?
Hi Christopher,
Is career or success the only purpose of life? No. Although most people tend to assume that their life purpose must be something related to success or their career.
There are many different types of purposes in life, and i don’t think anyone can tell you what your purpose is.
Whilst others may guide you, and give you help discovering it, ultimately it is you who must discover your purpose and when you have truely found it, you will know it.
It’s beautiful. Simple yet full of valuable lesson. Thanks
This has really inspired me even more. Watch out world ANGEL IS HERE AND SHE AIN’T GOING NOWHERE BUT UP
Hi Martin,
It’s a brilliant article…. thank you
but there’s a question I have, the answer to which is something I have been searching for since a long time.
I know what I want to do in life, to become in life and fortunately that’s what i’m pursuing as my profession and of course I have all the desire to be successful but there’s something that always holds me back, something that makes me underperform and that’s my insecurities. I am always scared to dedicate all of me towards achieving my dreams because I then start to feel that I’m gonna miss out on other things, like my family.
I’m so sensitive about my personal and professional goals that i’m unable to put myself completely in one direction.
I hope you can help me with this problem of mine.
Thanks
Hi Tedd,
You are very fortunate that you know what you want to do in life, many people struggle with finding a purpose their entire lives.
This then causes them frustration because they feel their life has no meaning, value or purpose.
From what you have said your frustrations come not from not knowing what to do, but from some insecurities within you and some apparent conflict between business success and personal success.
Although you have not specified what insecurities you have that make you underperform, generally speaking insecurities are often a reflection of some degree of low self esteem.
These may be things you doubt about yourself, such as your own ability to do something or concern as to how others percieve you and your actions.
These insecurities are like little chains with weights attached to your feet. Every time you step forward, they tug at your feet reminding you they are there and trying to pull you back to where you were.
Unless you directly address these insecurities, they will continue to affect your entire life.
From what you have said it seems as though you are very well aware of the negative impact these insecurities are having on your life, and can see that they are trying to drag you back as you try to move forward.
To overcome these a good overall starting point is understanding and then improving your self esteem. Everyone has some degree of low self esteem, and so will benefit from examining and improving it.
If you know what your insecurities are you should write them down as a list. Then examine each one, and try to think of what may have caused you to develop these insecurities in the first place? Think back to your past.
By creating a list you face your insecurities head on. You are not hiding from them, disowning them, ignoring them or hoping they will sort themselves out eventually.
By creating a list you must then make it your goal to overcome these one by one.
Starting with your biggest insecurity will have the biggest impact once it is completed, although it will also be the hardest to overcome.
Starting with a minor insecurity will have the least impact (overall) on your life, although it may help build moment and inspire confidence in you.
Whatever you decide, only you can overcome your insecurities and you must recognise and accept responsibility for that.
In terms of commiting to work and family. As you already know, you can never commit yourself 100% to anything in life, as you have to divide up that commitment with many things.
Such things can include work, health, finances, family, lesuire etc… Although within each subgroup, levels of commitment can vary.
For example, someone may not feel very commited to performing their best at work, but may be extremely commited to having a good time on holiday.
Our level of commitment to something is often a reflection of our level of interest into something and/or our percieved value of it.
In other words, do we like what we are doing and do we think it is important to us? Or is there something else we would enjoy more, or think is more important?
Of course other factors may also affect our level of commitment to something, such as our level of self esteem, in particular our belief in our ability to do something.
To me it seems as though your level of commitment to your professional life is being affected by a belief in yourself that you are unable to perform optimally at a professional level, without adversely affecting your personal life.
As a result you feel a conflict within you, and frustration as a result.
The most obvious question to ask is why do you feel this way? Why do you think commiting yourself to performing to the best of your ability is going to have a negative impact on your personal life?
Who has told you this will happen? Who have you seen this happen to? Is this something from your childhood, whereby your father worked hard and was successful, but didn’t spend much time with his family?
Find out why you have adopted this belief system, because that is essentially what you have. A belief system that one cannot be truely successful in both their prfessional and personal life.
All belief systems were created from something. Some event, or some person implanted that belief in your mind, and now it is causing you conflict because it is clashing with your values and morals.
You want to have a good family life, but you also want a good professional life. But currently you believe these things cannot be achieved to a high standard simultaneously.
As long as you have these conflicting beliefs systems, your frustration will remain, and will likely intensify over time.
The only way to overcome this is by changing your belief systems, and this must be done through personal experience.
If you are able to fully commit to your professional life (whilst carefully managing your time, and prioritising tasks and activies, both professional and personal) then there is no reason why your personal life should be adversely affected.
Have you tried fully commiting yourself to your work? What happened? What could you do different next time?
If you do as i have just suggested, and manage your time, then you should be able to prove to yourself that you are more than capable of doing both things successfully. This in turn will change your belief systems, and most likely remove many of those insecurities you have.
the article is really very fabulous. please keep me updated by new article by sending me mails
Wow! what a great post. Thoroughly enjoyed reading it. I talk on my personal blog about this kind of stuff all the time. The problem is figuring it out. I’m sure it’ll happen eventually.
Nice post, thank you.
hi !
u really do a great piece of work and posting it and keepin us updated is a thanksgiving venture. i also love ur website. keep updating
that really helped me clearing the doubts in my head.keep me updated about ur new articles by mail.thank you
nice guidance.. but in case, at age 46yrs [as me], have no reason to pursue, but, only fr financial reason, there is no love towards business or what i have been doing fr 28yrs, but continue to do.. i do have a choice..by just keeping everything away..and continue to survive, but, what happens to the people who are depending on me..LOST since there is no goals fr sucess, as i have not acheived,despite my efforts and hardwork, since 10yrs..continue …with what positive aspirations? with what insight? with just hope? that one fine day, all will be just perfect, which has not happened since 10yrs? dunno what to expect.. the Secret .. maybe not working bcoz i m in a different mode..beleif system which i have endured during the last 10yrs.. can u put some light..guidance as to what wud be my reason to live or my purpose in life..NO, i do not love self pity.. i despise the very idea, i m working my way up..and certainly not a looser, as i wud have given it up all long time back..but i m still surviving..what wud be my purpose in LIFE>.if u say, its upto me to find.. then what wud a lost person find??
kris- with lots of luv light energy..to all
Kris, What one thing would you do if you knew you could not fail, and your success was guaranteed?
NOT doing is what i can think of!
martin.. just being in the flow of events , without resistance to avoid frustrations..
m keeping low.. cannot stop what i have committed ..
can u suggest martin, that something ? which is gauranteed? share pls .. coz i m doing what i have been doing since 28yrs now.. have everything neck-deep in it..
m good at it.. m trying different combinations to open a new door .. walking without getting frustrated..is prime target..dun;t know if it is right thing to do.. PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS.. keeps me going .. watched it 3rice..
not giving up till i hit..
;))
Kris,
I have added a technique to this article i want you to try, it is listed under the heading “still struggling to find your life purpose?”.
hi martin,
i did the exercise just now, 28points and reasons to find my life purpose in 1-go.
let me read what i have written tmrw- and i wud ask the same question ‘b4 sleeping..its a pity i don’t remember my dreams at all..but if solutions are coming fm the sub-counsious mind then it wud just be there..in front of me, i guess.. so i m started already..
tks fr looking into my case-
;)) godbless@lways.
hi, i generally dont read articles. i am very confused. cant find the meaning and purpose for my life. completely lost. but b reading your article. i felt mch more nicer and gave me positive thing in me thank you so much
hi martin, love the website!
I think i’m quite lucky because i’m quite sure i’ve known what i’ve wanted to do for a very long time, or at least i know which area i’m interested in. I’m an art student at the moment and an aprentice clothes designer so i think i’m doing ok sinse i’m only 16. but i think my main problem is that well i’m just plain lazy sometimes. i’m fine with the physical and practical side of my work, but i cannot stand research and writing and reading, although i do understand it is important. how can i motivate myself to do the less interesting and less fun parts of my work/studies?
thanks
Hi Layla,
Yes you are lucky you know what you want to do, many people struggle with this question all their lives. Some never find the answer.
The question you are asking me is really about self discipline.
I have written many articles about this which i think you may find helpful. Have a look in the success skills section here to read them:
http://www.eruptingmind.com/success-skills/
Im summary, what you need to do is find a reason why to do something. Understand that people are driven either towards pleasure, or away from pain, and these factors greatly influence our behavior.
Some people are better motivated by pleasure, whilst others pain. So for example, if you have to do something you dislike, think of the positive results that will come from doing it. Or, think of the bad things that will happen if you don’t do it.
These have to be things you really want to have, or avoid, in order for them to be able to motivate you. This is called the pleasure - pain technique.
Also, realise that every action you take will have some reaction in the future. In other words, what you do today, builds your future tomorrow. So try to think long term, rather than focusing on your short term needs.
Success comes through the gratification of long term goals, rather than short term wants and desires.
If you can think of what you want to do in the future, and decided that you really want it, see all the actions you take from now until you become what you want to be, as the price you must pay to achieve your goal.
Not all the things you will like doing, but you recognise that is the price you must pay to get it.
Finally don’t expect changes to happen overnight, which means don’t give up after your first attempt! It takes at least 21 days to form a new habit, after which it will happen automatically.
what if ALL of the things on that list are really outlandish? like music, art, writing novels, working on special effects for film… etc?
If you completed the list in one sitting then some of those ideas came from your subconscious.
They are likely things you have wanted to do in the past, or want to do now, but for whatever reason have been buried and repressed.
I find it interesting you use the term “outlandish” as this is something i would expect to hear from my dad.
Do you find the things you came up with to be outlandish? Or is this what you think someone else would say if you showed them your list?
I do not consider those examples outlandish, and there are many successful people who have made a good living at them. It certaintly was not outlandish to them, why is it outlandish for you?
Finally, i do sense some kind of conflict that may be within you. If you have come up with these ideas, these may be things you subconsciously want or have wanted to do.
But you may have acquired another belief system that conflicts with these desires, which is making you feel you are not good enough to do them and/or they are not “socially acceptable” ambitions, thereby causing you to repress and reject them.
If you do have any of these beliefs you must ask yourself if they are true? And who gave them to you?
For more information on beliefs, please see this article
http://www.eruptingmind.com/personal-values-beliefs/
Very cool post. It’s easy to get discouraged in life. But this post is a friendly reminder to keep at it, keep learning and broadening the mind.
There is a lot of great advice here! It’s easy to want to be successful, but the self discipline and hard work it takes to get there is another story. This article is very motivating.
Life is hard but we need to face it with joy..Thanks for sharing the info on the blog so every one will reach out..
Not to sound like a sermon or anything, but after A LOT OF searching on the topic about life purpose, I’ve found that you really can’t find your purpose without God.
After dedicating my life to following Him, He’s completely changed my desires, and it’s really the only way to know what you are here for.
How can you really have a purpose without God? If He doesn’t exist, what’s the point of anything? Sorry if that came across as too preachy, I just had to get that out there.
Unfortunately, For many of us like me, this awareness comes to late in life. Most people in my generation were always trying to fit in. They made their living. But there true purpose was never revealed. They had lived a life of an imposter. For many of us this information is never revealed. It is covered up with layers of programming that was used to protect and defend at all costs. (SAD).
Enjoyed the article,,,, Enjoyed thinking about what im good at ,, not that much ,, So im guessing ill be in that 80%,, then
help me martin,, please
What if you did desire for excellence and you did everything you could to achieve it and yet you failed and now you don’t know what to do with your life. You have this plan in your head and it never materialized. I don’t know what to do with my life now. Pls. help me. I really need an advice. tnx.
Fallen Angel,
There will be lots of times in anyones life when they set themselves goals, and then fail to achieve them.
In this case you can either do two things.
1 - Give up on your goal completely and never try to achieve it again.
2 - Take a break from your goal, as repeated efforts of failure are likely to cause you frustration which could eventually cause you to slip into a depression where you feel that there is no hope or direction in your life.
After a period of rest, you can try new ways to achieve your goal, because that is what frustration is telling you, that what you are currently doing is not working, and so you should try another approach.
I have written more about this here:
http://www.eruptingmind.com/frustrated-person/
Of course this does not mean you will not fail again, which is why you also need persistence, the ability to keep going despite suffering setbacks.
Again, during this period it is very important to listen to your feelings (frustration), so that you don’t keep doing the same things which aren’t working over and over again.
Eventually, you will achieve your goal, but only if you really want it and are willing to work for it.
That’s the best advice i can give you really, as nobody can tell you what you should do with your life.
But if you look at your options, you can either give up completely or keep going until you finally do succeed. Ultimately what you decide to do is up to you.
Tnx martin. I guess my mind is still on the right track coz the options you gave me are the things i’m considering to do next. I know nobody can really tell me what to do with my life. It’s really up to me. I’m just at this point where it’s hard to decide because i don’t want to keep making the wrong choices and keep hurting myself in the process. A part of me does not want to give up because for a long time it’s what i’ve been trying to achieve. And a part of me do want to give up because it feels like it’s not really meant for me. It’s like GOD does not want me to be what i want for myself. How would i know what i’m really meant to do? I don’t want to get hurt anymore. it’s been really painful trying and losing again and again.
unfortunately, there is no other approach. i just have to undergo the whole process again. and i don’t know if it’s still worth to risk hurting myself again. maybe i’m just not ready at this moment. i hope i’ll be able to figure out what i’m really meant to do. tnx a lot. reading these articles and your advice are really helpful.
I enjoyed your article and exercise on the list of 20 answers to come up with. Wow , it was such a good direction for me to take. Thank you. I did struggle with coming up with a profession or a characteristic or action. I admit that I want to Do so many things in my life, but those may not necessarily be what my purpose be or what I am meant to do in my life. I do not know if that makes any sense to you. I have always thought of myself as a positive person, however I have a lot of negative views, skeptism– and that is because of fears I have; fears of failure, fears of overcommitment, fear of starting something and not finishing it, and fear of missing the mark completely and needing to start over/lost of precious time. Thanks for your time, concern and follow up response. Thank you again.