How To Talk With Your Subconscious Mind
- Self Talk is your subconscious mind talking to you, so listen up!
- You can have positive self talk or negative self talk.
- Self talk can reveal the programming you received as a child.
What Is Self Talk?
Self talk is how you talk to yourself throughout the day. It may be comprised of either positive statements, such as “I can do that…” or negative statements such as “I can’t do that…”
As a general rule, negative self talk is anything that puts you down or limits your actions, whilst positive self talk makes you feel good and motivates you.
Self talk usually originates from your childhood after repeated exposure to certain words or phrases, that were spoken by an authority figure (e.g. parents).
The most common form of self talk uses the phrase “I am such an idiot”, or something to that effect.
Self Talk Is Your Subconscious Mind Talking To You!
Recognising whether you use predominantly negative or positive self talk, will give you a good indication of the type of programming you received as a child.
This information can then be used to identify and highlight limiting beliefs you may have been unaware of. Think of self talk as your subconscious mind talking to you.
Positive self talk is extremely beneficial and will enhance the effects of future programming techniques. Once mastered, it will result in an attitude that anything is possible.
How Do I Master Self Talk?
There is nothing complicated about this technique. The biggest step is to realise that the way you talk to yourself is important. By reading this article you have already taken that step.
The next step is to identify negative words or phrases, that you frequently repeat to yourself.
This may take a week or longer, as you must let the words/phrases naturally appear because these will come directly from your subconscious mind.
Once you have identified your negative statements, make an effort to consciously replace them with positive statements.
Talk With The Subconscious - Final Thoughts
This process provides you with an honest assessment of your subconscious mind, thereby allowing you to identify limiting beliefs.
By becoming consciously aware of these beliefs, you are then able to directly modify the subconscious mind by replacing previously stored information (put in by someone else) with new information (put in by you).
Although initially this will require conscious effort, with practice it will become automatic and a habit. When this occurs, it means you have successfully modified your subconscious mind!
Please do not underestimate the importance of self talk, as failure to master it will undermine future programming techniques.
Looking for suggestions eg positive self talk statements to turn around and replace negative, just to give examples to my clients, so they can use or choose what suits them, feel comfortable.
Chris that is a very general question you have asked, its a bit like asking someone “how can i improve my life?” but giving no additional information.
Affirmations will vary depending on what you are trying to change/reverse, although in general frame them in a present positive and specific tense.
If you are creating affirmations for other people, they may be more effective as they may be percieved to be more valuable coming from a creditable source (i.e. you).
Try to keep your affirmations short, as this makes it easier to remember them. It is also a good idea to try and make them rhyme. This makes them fun and easy to say and remember, for example,
i am worthy of success, everyday i am the best!
But again, the type of affirmations you use really depends on what you are trying to achieve.
I recently mowed to a new place, many people tougth I was Gay, altough I am not. I believe it has something to do with the way I dress. Anyways I have supersonic hearing so I could hear people comment as I passed them by, normaly I wouldnt even care but i heard it by so many it started affecting me. Now in the middle of a conversation with somebody I can say something like im gay, the problem is I now I am not. I dont know why i do it but from a psychological point of view I believe this is something I do to gain control of a situation before somebody tells me I am gay. The problem is I think i do this subconsciously as I have now control of me saying it, i dont even hear myself say it, its like I all the sudden pop out of it and I dont snap back into reality before people say something like good for you or you didnt strike me as one. I am normaly a positive person but this is nagging me as I go around lying and worse making a fool of myself. What can I do ?
Hi Matthew,
You said that you have supersonic hearing and can hear people comment that you are gay as you pass them by. There is nothing wrong or strange about someone who is gay, so I would be surprised if random people are commenting amongst themselves that you look or are gay.
Just to rule out one obvious possibility, are you taking drugs of any kind? The reason I ask is that people in the early stages of schizophrenia, or who have mild schizophrenia, often think that they have extraordinary hearing and can therefore hear other people talking about them.
Usually this comes in the form of hearing someone make comments about what they doing or how they look. Typically this happens to people who do not have a strong social network.
This type of drug induced schizophrenia will usually disappear sometime after stopping the drug, and/or building up a good group of friends which make you feel valued and important.
In terms of you suddenly telling someone you are gay in the middle of a conversation, there may be several reasons for this.
I will share with you a few of my own thoughts, but usually you will know the answer yourself as I think you do.
1 - You may be gay, or repressing your homosexuality. In other words, you are fighting against who you really are because of some guilt or shame you associate with being gay.
It is often found in people who repress their true feelings/thoughts, that they experience occasional subconscious leakages or slips.
When this happens you will “accidentally” and without conscious awareness or control, talk about the thoughts/feelings you were repressing.
This can also happen in your sleep, whereby you sleep talk about the things you have been repressing, either from yourself, or others.
Because you said you tend to tell people you are gay, without meaning to do so, does seem to suggest we are dealing with the subconscious.
2 - You may be experiencing some kind of benefit from telling people you are gay. This may come in the form of getting attention from others, or even creating an identity for yourself that makes you feel valued/important.
You said you recently moved into a new area. Did this happen to you before you moved? Or did it start when you moved? If it started recently this may indicate a desire to fit it and be noticed.
3 - Another possibility could be relieving some kind of sexual anxiety. For example, by telling a woman you are gay you no longer feel pressured to pursue women and face rejection. By telling other men you are gay, you may be compensating or “excusing” a lack of women in your life.
From what you have said there definitely seems to be some kind of conflict within you. Either you are gay but have not accepted this yet, or you are experiencing some kind of benefit from being perceived as gay.
The fact that you tell people you are gay without thinking about it does seem to suggest it is coming from the subconscious.
You also seem to be aware that the clothes you wear could be the reason you are being perceived as gay, but you did not say you made an effort to dress differently.
Again, this may suggest some latent homosexuality within you, or that you enjoy the attention dressing differently gives you.
I do think that probably you are getting some kind of benefit from telling people you are gay. This is actually quite common, where someone may do or say something they consciously dislike, yet they continue to do it over and over again because of some subconscious secondary gain.
If you do not have a strong social network (i.e. lots of friends) then your secondary gain may be the extra attention you get from telling people you are gay.
Even though you may feel foolish afterwards, you have satisfied that need for attention/recognition from others. This is just one possible gain, there may be others.
Another explanation could be that if in fact lots of people are saying you look gay, then you may subconsciously feel under pressure to conform and adopt that identity.
In other words, if enough people tell you that you are gay, eventually you will begin to believe it or feel that you should act gay even though you know you are not.
However be absolutely certain that people are in fact calling you gay. You said when you moved into your new place many people thought you were gay. Yet later you said that when you tell people you are gay they reply “good for you” or “you didn’t strike me as one”.
This suggests that most people don’t see being gay as a big deal or didn’t think you were gay in the first place. Which then asks the question, why would you think so many people thought you were gay?
Has anyone actually come and told you directly to your face that you are gay? Or is it purely as a result of your “supersonic hearing”? If it is the later, you may be experiencing early/mild schizophrenia.
So what can you do?
The first thing I would suggest is that if you are taking or smoking any kind of drug, to stop. If in fact your “supersonic hearing” is a result of drug induced schizophrenia, then stopping the drug will stop/reduce any paranoia or thoughts that you are hearing people talk about you.
Next determine if your subconscious leaks (such as you telling people you are gay) is a result of any suppressed homosexual desires.
Ask yourself if you find other men attractive? Do you have sexual fantasies about other men? Have you had many girlfriends? Do you think there is anything wrong with being gay, that could be causing you to suppress your true feelings? Why do you dress in a way that makes people think you are gay?
After that have a look at the following article, and try to discover any secondary gains you may be experiencing from telling people you are gay.
http://www.eruptingmind.com/communicating-subconscious-nlp/
Are you benefiting from the extra attention? Do you feel special because of it? Is it helping to make you feel unique or give you a new identity? Is it helping you to get noticed in a new place? These are just some possible questions you could ask.
If you discover a secondary gain, try to come up with a suitable way to replace that need as detailed in the article.
I would also suggest trying to monitor your conversations with other people, and notice when and why you suddenly tell someone you are gay.
Maybe you feel uncomfortable talking to someone? Maybe the conversation is running dry? Whatever it is, try to be more observant when it happens to you. To stop it happening in the short term, try to talk less and listen more carefully.
Train yourself to think before you speak, rather than just blurting out the first thing that comes into your mind.
If you need help with anything else, just let me know.
Thanks for your reply. I used to do drugs for around 5 years on a daily basis, however only mild drugs such as cannabis and it newer gave me any problems.
Stopped around 6 months ago.
Maybe it did me a bit paranoid about cops but nothing more than one could expect from someone commiting an act of crime.
When I was 5 years I developed OCD in a religious form.
Altough i do not consider myself religious nor does my family.
I was however able to subdue this completly after around 6 months. I managed the seemingly impossible task of not thinking of anything and not just for
minutes or hours ,in fact I did so for years until I became around 20 I honestly hadent tougth a single tougth.
I operated on reflex and emotion and this worked out rely well , I was funny intelligent and I could get any girl in the world, or at least it felt that way.
At one time I was dating 5 girls at the same time, why? because I could, not as a compensation for something, I write this for you to not make uncorrect
asumptions as I unfortunatly no a bit to much about pyshology.
Anywys I feel in love with one of the girls and we stayed together for 3 years. I cheated on her as hell but I still loved her, the cheating was more like a
sex thing and I only made love to her as if she was the only one. Anyways she dumped me after 3 years , with good reason as well(cheating). I was devistated
and it took me 2 years to get over her, I still check her facebook every now and then so maybe I am not completly over her yet.
However at some point I felt that if i went around not thinking for the rest of my life it would make me stupid. Altough I envied the people that could think I was afraid to fall back into OCD. However I gave it a shot. I shouldnt have , in fact I have so much trouble focusing that I sometimes have trouble focusing and thinking of something simple as a red apple it becomes green and so on.
Now living where I used to live before I newer had such troubles , I had some anxiety probably because of drug use but nothing more than many other people experience being a user of cannabis on a daily basis. When it comes to supersonic hearing yes I know I have to some degree a mind that sometimes thinks beyond what is real, but I also now I have extremly well hearing as I have sevral times confronted
people with what I have heard and made them imbarresed as they are confronted with what they have said and admit it as well. I have a large network of friends from were I used to live and a network of around 30-40 friends were I live now. 2 or 3 in which I care for the most. However I used to be a very social person, I no longer am.
One is partualy do to the fact that I dont want to make myself look a fool another is the fact that I actually in many ways enjoy being for myself, I am a
bit of an inventor and quite good with anything mechanical or technical which psychologicly wise often would imply a person more or less introvert. Altough I
am not, only until recently that is. This I think ruls out the fact I could be doing it for attention etc.
I personly dont mind being alone in fact I like it and I have asked myself if this is the reson why I say I am Gay, it migth be but I dont think so. When it
comes to being gay or not my public opinion about homsexuality is that it is something wrong but nothing more than that either. I dont hate them and I dont
like them, altough I actually used to say “well actually I love them it means i get more girls and less competition. Personaly I dont care were people prefer
to stik it for me it doesent rely matter, so why should i even be saying it as if it was a big deal? I wouldnt have a problem to say to myself I was Gay if I
was, maybe 3 months ago it would have been difficult but this problem has been naging me so long I am almost willing to do anything to get it out of the way.
Iv even tried looking at gay porn but it doesent arause me, somehow I feel deep down I migth be bisexual but then again how can I be if Gay porn does not arause me, yes it migth be something subdue deep in my unconciusness , but I dont realy believe that. Then i read that 8 of the 10 most common
sexual fantasies is having sex with the same sex. But why does not gay porn then arause me In fact I think it looks silly. Whilst looking at girls makes me
araused. My biggest fear now is newer being able to get a girl again because of my situation. I used to be the biggest player now I cant get nothing. Iv tried going back into the none thinkinh stage were thinks is goin good for me. It works great but I am afraid of saying something stupid and that keeps my thinking process up.
Btw in regards of the way I dress, yes I did make an effort to change I started wearing jeans again and so on. Normaly i like to dress clasical, nice, a shirt dockers and trainers , however after using jeans and t shirts for a few weeks I came to the conlusion, why should I adapt if this is the way i like to dress in shirts and dockers than this is the way I should dress. Maybe not wery Gay looking but being only 24 years and living in a place were people tend to dress like shit it may have been persieved in such manner.
Hi Matt,
There was a report I read awhile ago about long term cannabis use being linked to schizophrenia, so that is something which may be playing a role in your current situation.
You said you stopped smoking cannabis around 6 months ago. Did you start telling people you were gay when you stopped cannabis?
Also you did say that you have good hearing and embarrassed some people by overhearing them, however has anyone actually told you that you look or are gay directly to your face? Or do you just think that you have overheard people saying that?
What i am thinking is that if you do have some form of mild schizophrenia from your cannabis use, you may have thought you heard lots of people commenting you are gay, and then either consciously or subconsciously acquired this belief making you feel that you need to tell people you are gay before they say that you are gay.
Cannabis use can also cause paranoia, so this may have fueled your suspicions that people are calling you gay. Long term cannabis use can also reduce motivation, which may explain why you are now an introvert when once you were extremely extroverted.
It is difficult for me to say exactly what the issue is here, but from what you have described about yourself, your symptoms do seem to be consistent with long term cannabis usage.
I would also like to comment about your OCD when you were a child, and how you overcame this by not thinking any thoughts for several years. I do find this hard to believe, because if you were 5 years old and didn’t think until you were 20 (that’s 15 years), how did you get by at school? How did you learn? How did you become intelligent?
Although i don’t doubt you reduced the amount of thoughts you had, but to eliminate them completely would be extremely difficult.
Even trained mediators who have mediated for several years required lots of training to still their mind, so that they can be free of thought. What about dreams? Did you not have any dreams? For they also require thought, as do emotions.
However if it was the case that you consciously did not think for 15 years, this seems to suggest some kind of hypnotic trance. I would seriously consider the possibility that you may have been a victim of mind control, where your mind was fragmented in order to create alternate personalities within you.
Mind control victims often begin as members of cults or religious groups, and usually display an obsession towards that group.
People who become victims of mind control tend to “snap” out of their programming around the ages of 20-30. A well trained hypnotist may be able to regress you to your past to help you discover if this occurred to you. This is something you may wish to explore.
In terms of your inability to concentrate, this may be due to many factors. Although the most likely factors based on what you have said may be 1) your long term cannabis use 2) watching lots of TV (especially TV/films involving lots of action scenes) and 3) not thinking for 15 years. In addition to this your diet will also play a role in how well you can think and concentrate.
As I am sure you are very well aware, the brain requires constant simulation in order to grow and stay healthy. The factors i listed above would not result in a healthy active brain, which may explain why you have trouble focusing.
You mentioned something about your ex girlfriend and the fact that you do not feel completely over her yet. Obviously this has caused you a lot of pain if it took you 2 years to get over her, which brings up the possibility that you are now engaging in self sabotaging behavior by telling people you are gay.
One of the ways self sabotage can develop is by some pain you have learnt to associate with change in your life. When you split up with your girlfriend I assume your life changed, and with this change came pain.
It is interesting that now you have made a new change in your life (moving to a new location) you have started telling people you are gay for no apparent reason. This new change in your life may therefore be causing you to sabotage yourself, to prevent any perceived pain you have subconsciously associated with change in the past.
Maybe if you can finally accept the break up, then you may be able to stop this sabotage. As i think it is clear, as you yourself said, that you still have feelings for your ex.
You said you now have a network of around 30-40 friends, I consider that to be a very large number, especially considering you have moved into a new area. Yet you say that you do not consider yourself to be a very social person now. Surely if you have that many friends you must be a very sociable person. I know i do not have as many friends as you.
If you do prefer being by yourself now, and are an introvert when once you were very extroverted, this may be due to smoking cannabis, which as i said previously, can make people become introverted where they will now prefer their own company.
I do agree with you that you are probably not telling people you are gay so that you can be alone, since you already have a large network of friends so you obviously enjoy being with people (and have excellent social skills) yet you also enjoy spending time by yourself. A classic extroverted introvert! And that’s absolutely normal, I am the same. I like being around other people, but I also value spending time by myself doing what i want.
You have said that you view homosexuality as wrong, and this is consistent with your previous religious obsession when you were younger.
You have also said you looked at gay porn, and suspect you may be bisexual. You may have even masturbated while fantasizing over another man? Yet you say that you are not gay, these 2 opposing viewpoints may be causing you some conflict.
On the one hand you think that homosexuality is wrong (possibly a view instilled/reinforced during your childhood obsession with religion). On the other hand it appears you have sexual thoughts regarding members of the same sex. It is interesting that you suspect you may be bisexual, because this point of view sits directly in the middle of your 2 opposing viewpoints.
I think this may be where your conflict is coming from. First of all there is nothing wrong with being gay or bisexual, in fact many man are bisexual. Whereby they find women attractive, and certain males also attractive. They are also likely to find many women sexually desirable but maybe only one or two men attractive.
It seems you know yourself very well, and often the best psychologist is yourself. If you think you are bisexual, is this because you have fantasized over another male? What is the reason for this suspicion? Because you may fantasize over one particular male, does not make you gay or even mean that you find gay porn arousing.
Many “bisexual” men often never act out their fantasies and therefore are not true bisexuals in the truest sense of the word. However because of the way society views homosexuality this may cause them to feel that they must be bisexual (or gay), even though their bisexuality was purely mental.
Also because homosexuality tends to be viewed in a negative light, these people may repress their feelings because of the guilt or shame they may associate with it. Of course, this will vary depending on your culture and location. In ancient Greece for example, homosexuality was considered perfectly normal, and many men had male and female partners.
So what i am saying is that if indeed you do/have fantasized about a member of the same sex, the prevailing societal views may have lead you to believe you are gay. And although you say you would not have a problem admitting you were gay if you were gay, you also stated earlier that you thought it was wrong. So would you really not have a problem admitting you were gay if you were?
I do feel there seems to be some conflict in you, and you seem to be repressing something. Even though you have watched gay porn and possibly had sexual thoughts about the same sex, you are not quite admitting bisexuality as you said you “somehow feel deep down you might be bisexual”.
I would suggest that if you think you “might” be, you are, and that you should admit and accept this. Accepting that you find a certain male or males attractive does not make you gay (if you also find women attractive).
Remember, this is perfectly normal and there is absolutely nothing wrong with this so you should feel no shame about it.
I do see your confusion if you do not find gay porn arousing. But i would ask do you find all “regular” porn arousing? Probably not. Everyone has their own unique turn-ons. What may turn one person on, may turn another off.
This definitely seems to be causing confusion within you, as you asked twice why gay porn does not arouse you. I got the impression that you were trying to find an answer as to why you find men (or a certain male) sexually attractive, and perhaps fantasized about them, and feel confused because you do not find gay porn arousing.
The lack of a girlfriend in your life may be causing these “bisexual” thoughts, as some form of sexual compensation.
If you want to overcome your fear do not fear it. By fearing something you only give more energy to it, thereby making it worse. The more you run from your fears, the faster they will chase you.
To overcome your situation I would suggest resolving any sexual conflicts you may have within you. Recognize that even though you may have fantasized over another male, that does not make you gay or even bisexual.
Some people call it “bicurious”, whereby you are curious about the same sex but still predominantly find the opposite sex more attractive.
Bisexuality is becoming increasingly common in today’s society. Some suspect this is due to the effect of chemicals in plastics and water that are affecting both men and women. This is causing men to become more feminine and women to become more masculine. If you are interested in finding out more about this listen to “the future of men” in the free audio section on this site.
Once you can resolve this conflict and truly become comfortable with your own sexuality and sexual fantasies, i suspect you will stop accidentally telling people you are gay. As i said in my original reply to you, often when people blurt things out without thinking about them, it is because they have been repressing it. Sooner or later it will come out, and they will not have any conscious control over it.
Here is a suggestion you may wish to try. Get a recording device and for several nights record yourself whilst you sleep. If possible get a voice activated tape recorder that will automatically start recording whenever it hears any sound.
The purpose of this is to record any sleep talk that occurs at night. What you say in your sleep, will often be what you are repressing and not fully admitting to yourself. This should then tell you exactly what you need to resolve in yourself.
Do not fear your situation. I believe anything in life can be reversed, so never assume something will never happen. Accept your current situation and recognize you are where you are purely because of your own actions in the past. You are responsible for your life, and so are responsible for the situation you are currently in.
Learn from it, and use it to make you a stronger person. Everyone has setbacks in life, but it is how you deal with those setbacks that ultimately defines who you are and who you become.
You seem to be very good at analyzing yourself from a psychological perspective, so i am extremely confident in your ability to overcome this situation.
As a final note, I completely agree with you in terms of what you wear. What you choose to wear is entirely up to you, and should be an expression of yourself. You should not change how you look because of what other people think. Personally i do not consider what you like to wear to be even remotely gay, it sounds completely normal to me.
If people dress poorly where you live, and they are calling you gay for dressing differently, it may simply be out of envy or because you do not appear to be “one of them”. Either way i would not give it much thought, and if someone mocks you based on what you wear why would you want to know them anyway?
hi…myself mayur….
i was suffering from iritation with my friend. he is just negative image of me. i was so confident that i can do any thing. my childhood talk with subconcious mind are so positivi. but continuous negative talk with my friend make me incomfortable and i just lost my originality. i lost my feelings,my dreams,my passion,my style,my present,my future….everything….this is going on and on for 2 years. when i thought about my dream….i cna not control my temprament and i lost my path and diverted to negative thoughts which were stored in subconciuos mind because of hot tampered. and i lost talk with myself.
after 2 years….my brothre told me that u try to talk with ur subconcious mind.i think about it…and then i search on google for more clear idea about sub concious mind talk. then i find this site. i just started to talk with myself(sub-concious mind). i know now i can recover myself from negative thoughts….and also can be able to ignore others negative thoughts about me(is jelous).
thanks to my brother and than to this site creater……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….MAK
Dear Mathew,
I have read everything on your website and it resonates perfectly with me. I’be been seeing a pyschologist for 4 years but he has not done anything for me, at all. I’ve suffered from self-sobatagement and lack of self esteem including irrational fears for my whole life & major depressive illness, and since I’ve been seeing a kinioslogist she has finally offered the tools and services to help me get beyond this.
But one thing I find extremely frustrating is when people say something negative about me to me, it makes me frustrated because it challenges who I am. I am aware that this has to do with self-esteem, and I have done allot of work on self-esteem, but that doesn’t eliminate the anger I feel when people say something derogatory. I am more intelligent as to I can dycipher weather or not a person is beneficial to me (moreso than I used to) But It’s difficult. I struggle everyday to think positive, get myself into personal alignment and enjoy life. I do everything imaginable, sublminal audio, kniosology, affirmations, visualisations, meditations, reading, you name it. And its been a year of intense work.
Im still not there yet and its frustrating the fuck out of me. I just want to be positive and enjoy my life. If I get out there, I run into trouble because of the unresolved inner issues, and if I stay home its endless imprisonment.
I don’t quite know what to do, I am completely lost and just need some helpful advice. I can figure everything out but this thing. I really don’t want to spend another year at home to be safe!
- Vahid.
Hi Vahid,
You said you have been seeing a psychologist for 4 years, but he has not done anything for you. I don’t think a psychologist can change you, they can only help you change.
Ultimately the change you experience in your life will come from you, and not other people. It is you who has to power to change the direction of your life, through the thoughts and actions you take on a daily basis.
This is an important point, because the moment you start looking to others to make your life better, or do things for you, you become dependant on them for how your life turns out.
so whilst you can get advice and guidance from other people, always remember that change comes from within you, not from outside of you.
You and you alone are responsible for your life, so dont give that power away to others. See yourself as the solution to the problem, know that you will find the answer eventually, and you will feel a lot more in control of your life than if you looked to others to do this for you.
About what you said about staying home to be safe. Safe from what? What are you afraid of?
It seems almost like you are trying to resolve all the issues in your life before you feel ready to “step out” into the world.
In my experience if you wait until things are perfect, you will be waiting a long time. things will never be perfect, and there will always be challenges in life you have to deal with.
The best way to overcome something is first by educating yourself about it, such as by reading, and then actively experiencing it in the world. It is only through experience will you be able to grow and develop as a person, there is no substitute for it.
So my advice is to keep on doing what you are doing, but stop waiting for everything to be perfect before you are “ready”. As long as you have a reasonable level of self acceptance, then it should not matter to you what other people say about you.
At the moment, it sounds as though you are a bit sensitive to criticism, which suggests as though your self esteem is being externally driven.
This means that rather than feeling good for being the person you are, how you feel seems to be influenced by what others say about you. If you read the articles on self esteem, you will find out more information about this.
Overall Vahid, just remember that everyone has unresolved inner issues but this doesn’t mean we can’t go out and deal with the challenges of life. Self improvement is a gradual process, and will certainly take longer than 1 year.
I see self improvement as a gradual journey that will last my whole life, so its not something you are going to master by reading a few books.
So keep on learning as you have been doing, seek assistance and advice from others and get out there and start living your life being dependant only on yourself.
You are completely right, it’s as though you have a bit of pyschic in you. Anyway, I beleive you are right, much of this relates to low self esteem. After reading your articles on self-respect and self-acceptance, I have incorporated that into my affirmations. I also use Steven Halperns Subliminal ‘Self-Esteem’ CD, which I am beginning to find effective and I am learning to let go. By consiously focussing in the moment as best I can, without being too hard on myself about it.
It seems like my mind likes to go to worse-case scenarios, and honestly at times, I feel like a child with the development of my mind and how it is quite fragile and always needing support and encouragement from others. But as you said, it takes time.
I have ready many articles on your website and I relate all of them to my own life, as though they were written for me. I am happy I found yourwebsite and I appreciate that you offer that information without charging a fee.
I’ve wasted too much energy being afraid of going out there and getting hurt, I think I’ll just go out there anyway and if I fall flat on my face, I’ll find a way to get back up and learn a lesson out of it. I’ll continue to work on self-esteem, it’s just a thing that has been difficult to understand at times. Your website is one of the few websites that outlines the importance on it, so people can really see how lack of self-esteem affects their lives.
I thought self-esteem was just about caring how you look, but I realised it’s much deeper than that. It’s the value you hold for yourself on all areas, I am shocked that I had such low value for myself, and why? I do not know. With the amount of plastic surgery I’ve had, I am well aware I thought that surgically changing myself would increase my value to others, I was definately wrong.
I think in many aspects I’ve gone about life the wrong way, putting value on appearance and superficial things and being lost and confused when thing’s still, didn’t go my way. It really takes a deeper understanding of thing’s to see thing’s how they are. And with what I have been doing, Ive attained that deeper understanding, still there is this extreme dissapointment in myself for not discovering this earlier and feeling like it’s ‘too late’ maybe that also relates to lack of self-esteem. Thank You so much for all your help, it’s pivotal in helping me make the right choices, and for your wonderful website which I am sure was meant to make it’s way into my life experience also.
And you are definately right, you make the choice, when you are ready, I picked up the phone and called up the kiniosologist, I had no idea what it was, but I did it anyway because there was one voice in my head saying ‘try this, you never know’ and it was a good avenue for greater understanding for me when nothing else could really pierce my gates of resistance and deep inner pain.
I think you have the right attitude about this.
It would be far easier to escape from your problems by ignoring them through drugs and entertainment. But you have choosen to actively work on resolving those issues, and because of this you will eventually solve those issues and become a stronger person for it.
So even though its no fun to feel down and think that your life “sucks”, if you persist and keep going, one day you will be thankful for the experience.
As you say, self esteem is a very misunderstood subject, and a lot of people seem to think that if they are not on medication for depression then their self esteem is fine.
However in reality most people do suffer from some degree of low self esteem, and once you get a good understanding of what it actually means, you will easily be able to spot low self esteem in people.
In the majority of cases, low self esteem is a direct result of their childhood and early teenage experiences. This is why i have talked in depth about childhood in several articles on this site, as it is a key area to understand when working on your self esteem.
dont feel bad for going about life in the wrong way in the past, as we have all done so, and will most likely do so again in the future.
What matters is what you learn from those experiences, as they make you the person you are today. So as long as you maintain this frame of mind, it is never too late to change.
Plastic surgery is often a reflection of low self esteem and personal insecurity, but with the media people are constantly exposed to, you cant blame them for wanting to change the way they look.
The media tells us that being attractive, young, healthy and rich is all that matters, and to reinforce this message we are constantly exposed to “beautiful” people who make the majority of the general population feel inadequate with who they are.
A population that is filled with feelings of inadequacy, will always be looking to buy new products to make them feel/look better. Which makes them good consumers.
So i think a lot of low self esteem is also a byproduct of the media and advertising.
As i said in one of the articles about self acceptance, there is nothing wrong with plastic surgery as looks are (whether you like it or not) very important in todays image conscious society.
But it is important to realise that looking good on the outside, does not automatically translate into feeling good on the inside. Which is something i think a lot of people overlook.
Overall, there is a lot that could be said about self improvement, but overall i think it boils down to this
always keep learning and never give in.
Very true, plastic surgery made me feel a bit better, but it was by no means a cure for low self esteem, which prior, I didn’t even know the meaning of! I think moreso a quick fix effect, oh wow, I got botox.. but then it wears off and you need another hit, like any addiction. Real happiness, as I read over and over, stems from within, and we all have that potential within us, it’s our birthright.
I’ve been doing allot of work on self-esteem and im seeing immediate effect, critisicm is having practically no effect on me whatsoever. It’s been of amazement to me. I’ve been working my brain out hard in the last year in fact Ive even had a balance because my brain was getting bigger creating tension in the skull, amazing huh. The brain really does grow, when you actively learn. And with all the inner work Ive done (I have pushed it) Ive definately felt a huge acceleration inbrain growth, and you would know it if you knew me more than a year ago, I was a confused, insecure, angry individual who felt like the world was against him. and naturally.. got betrayed many times, that’s why I took this major turn.
This is exactly what i tell people, and your story is a good example of this. If we learn from our past experiences (even if they are painful ones) we will grow into a stronger and wiser person.
The important thing to remember is to never give up, and keep on working towards your goals no matter what happens.
Thank you. Your website really allerted me to the importance of having healthy self-esteem. I can say it has much improved and still is improving each and every day, my mind has had trouble with the increased input. (Try breathing in energy and accampanying it with 3 hours of affirmation) But that’s me. Louise Hay for example is still.. at her age.. working to release bad thought-patterns. I’ll be doing it in a year. There’s no time to waste. And no limit to what you can do with the body/mind/soul and I’ll go as far as to say the same about telekenises, pyrokenises, biokenises, levitation, electrokenises… and the list goes on. I’ll let you know when im there! haha x.
I’ve been with my husband for 9 years and he has often mentioned of the voices he hears in his head. He says there are several (sometimes 8 or 9) and the reason he is able to multitask so well is because he has been dealing with the voices since he was 3. When the voices get especially loud he would not speak to anyone for a day or two or he would drown it out with loud music or smoke weed. His voices never really bothered me until one of them manesfested a year ago…. He was sober, but it was like he was a whole different person. He was very negative, violent, and sadistic and when I mentioned this episode to him he is somewhat detached from the experience. He feels bad that I witnessed it, but says it was that negative voice he’s been trying to suppress. Anyways, it’s been several months without the voices and I’ve been quite truamatized by the experience so I’ve been researching on what might of happened. I don’t think it’s sckitsophrenia because he doesn’t quite fit all the criteria for even the subtypes. I don’t think it’s DID either because all the voices/personalities respond to the same name. I was wondering if it could be his id or ego or some part of his subconscious that he was able to hear. Can anyone really hear their subconscious and can ever be several voices at once?
I feel that he is very attuned to his sub-consious mind, and the negative self talk sounds like negative trauma blockages that he needs to work through.
i am unsure what this is since you say it has been occuring since age 3 which is very unusual.
If it started later in life some possible things it could be are schizophrenia, multiple personality disorder, mind control (split brain altars) or some form of direct to skull voice transmission.
Another thing i can think of is some form of demonic possession, have you considered this or spoken to a priest about it?
But these are just guesses, sorry i can’t offer more help.
As for being able to “hear” the subconscious, i have never heard of anything like this before.
One thing you can ask him is about his childhood. If he was traumatised during childhood this may suggest alternate personalities created inside a fractured mind. this sometimes happen to people as the ego tries to protect itself from traumatic experiences. These repressed memories or personalities may later manifest themselves under certain conditions.